Tag Archives: Tiredness

Go with the flow

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Random cat pic from the Googles

This week has been my first week back at work after having my two week staycation and man I’m absolutely wrecked. I’ve not been sleeping well all week and having to get up early every day doesn’t really help with that. I keep waking up at random intervals and I have a very hard time falling asleep to begin with. I’m not really sure why since it’s not melting temperatures outside anymore and I’ve actually had to close my windows due to it being too cold otherwise.
I think one part of this is because I have applied for a new position and I won’t hear anything about it for the next three weeks. I’m trying to let it go but it’s hard because I know I will be severely disappointed when I don’t get it. On the other hand I had to deal with the usual “crap” that comes with being away for longer than a weekend. Working headoffices for a large retail company means you only have two types of workdays: busy and extremely busy. There is never a dull moment but this also means that I tend to get home feeling completely worn out, especially when having to “catch up” with stuff that happens over a two week absence. As direct result of this I’ve been falling asleep after dinner almost every evening, either on my couch or on my bed. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle really. I come home from work, fall asleep after dinner, wake up around two hours later wondering what year I live in, be awake for a bit and then go to bed where I can’t fall asleep. When I do fall asleep I wake up multiple times per night and then the alarm goes off and I’m tired before I’ve even gotten out of bed.
I hope it’s just a getting back into the groove of things week and that things will feel more normal next week but for now I’m happy it’s the weekend and that I get to sleep in and not care about waking up in the middle of the night when there’s an alarm set to go off.

Due to me falling asleep a lot I’ve not really been able to do what I want during the evenings. My chores have all been postponed and I’ve put in way less time into gaming and being active than I hoped I would. It’s not like I’ve not done anything at all besides sleep in the evenings but I’ve not taken any of the walks that I wanted to and I’ve maybe put in 30 mins of game time if that per night.
Today isn’t much better with it being a League of Legends evening.. I’m spending most of it knackered out on my couch watching TV. I guess things will turn around a bit tomorrow and Sunday when I’m hopefully more well rested and in a bit better state of mind to get stuff done. I also have a big family BBQ to go to so there’s that.

So sorry for this being a bit of a lackluster post but I’m just honestly overwhelmingly tired and I can’t wait till I get to roll into my bed and drift away into dreamland.

Exhaustion strikes

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So I’ve been back at work and the first evening of falling asleep the moment I’m home has happened. It’s always a major struggle getting back into my proper work rhythm after I’ve been off work for more than a week but this time it feels even worse because I’ve had an exceptionally lazy vacation, meaning I’ve lost the tiny bit of stamina I had acquired with my normal schedule. So I’m rebuilding this, and more, and it’s making me very much tired. It also doesn’t help that I was up hunting mosquitoes untill 01.30 in the morning last night I guess but still.

It’s one of the few things I dislike about my job at times. When you get back from vacation it’s always a struggle to get to a point where you are all “caught up” on current work and circumstances. I’ve been dutifully slavering away at my slightly exploded mailbox since people figured it was okay to start mailing me again on Thursday/Friday to get things in motion on Monday. Next to that I have my regular tasks that need doing so I’ve been quite swamped with all of it. I managed to make it to about 50 “unread” mails though so I guess there’s that. I’m really hoping that I can get the last bit down tomorrow and be all where I need to be again.

In gaming news, the newest patch of FFXIV hit today, bringing with it the new Tomestones and the Savage mode of the Eden raid. The reward for defeating the final boss is an awesome four seater mount and I may actually want to try to clear it just for that, if I can get into decent PuG groups. For tonight though I think I’m going to stick to clearing the normal version of the raid and start doing expert roulette again for the new tomestones and not play my Black Mage for a night. I made it to level 75 on that playing yesterday evening, aswell as getting my Alchemist to 65 and my Culinarian to 41.
Another good change was the rate that Trusts gain experience from the dungeons you do with them. It’s going to be a less torturous road to get them from 70 to 80 now and I may even use them a bit more as I’m leveling up the rest of my dps classes to circumvent queues and still get leveling done when I’ve exhausted my roulette options.

I’m still quite curious how the Relic Weapon grind will look this expansion. Square Enix hasn’t said a word about it yet, which is rather worrisome. It feels like they launch the weapon much later every expansion and if this one is going the way of Eureka in Stormblood it will mean that I’m probably once again going skip out on it. I really didn’t enjoy Eureka and I’m in no way up for the same sort of grind again. I rather go back to the ARR and Heavensward types of Relics but I guess time will tell how things turn out. I would be very disappointed if they didn’t do any Relics this expansion but with the ever growing amount of jobs it wouldn’t surprise me. I mean they already took job quests away… Maybe Relics are too much of a hassle aswell.

The final day of Blaugust

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Screenshot around Costa Del Sol

Completely unrelated screenshot but Costa Del Sol is by far my favourite zone in FFXIV so I figured I would feature that at the start of my post. There’s something about that azure blue sea and the beaches that makes me feel like I’m on vacation and that’s a feeling I desperately need right now.

We’ve arrived at the final day of Blaugust. At the start I set a goal to write a post every day. Unfortunately things didn’t really work out as I hoped they would and I end the month just a few posts short of the fabulous Rainbow badge. On one side it irks me. I would have loved to write a post everyday and I had enough material to do so aswell. I was planning to talk about Octopath Traveler and I had so much to say about the Battle for Azeroth launch while also still doing some stuff in FFXIV. However a valuable lesson I’ve learned over the past month is that as an adult you have to make choices. There is just no way I can do everything that I want with the limited time I have. I love to game and I love to talk about gaming but when work gets to be super stressful gaming comes second to trying to stay healthy. There have been many a night where I’ve fallen asleep before or after dinner as I was exhausted. Even as I’m writing this blog post with the semifinal of the EU League of Legends Summer championship in the background I’m battling sleep. I’m just not giving in because I know I’ll wake up around midnight feeling really bad and not being able to fall back asleep. So sometimes I chose to go to bed early and minimize my screen time. Sometimes I’d choose to stay up a little later so I could finish a blog post or something in a game, knowing that I would be a bit of a zombie the next day. It happens and it’s how life is when you have very long work weeks.

All in all I’ve found this Blaugust a very positive experience. Hanging with the “crowd” in Discord was fun and even though I didn’t really get to commenting on other people’s blogs I did add a few more to my Feedly to read, which is nice. I want to continue having a regular posting schedule, which basically boils down to more than once or twice a week, because I have so many things to write about still and I’ve noticed that writing on this blog more often just helps me clear my head aswell. Especially the more personal posts, even though they always seem to end up a bit on the rambly side, help me organise my thoughts and deal with things that I normally try to deal with on my own.

So with that this is my final post for Blaugust and I’ve already got an idea of what my first post of September will be. Luckily September starts tomorrow, which means I’ll actually be rested (yay for Saturdays!) and I’ll have time to write. It was a pleasure to participate and I hope you all enjoyed my posts.

Crashlanding

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When I got home from work yesterday I just completely crashed. Went to bed, got woken up for dinner, went back to bed again. Woke up around 22.00 feeling groggy and realizing that I hadn’t even called one of my best friends to wish him a happy birthday. Yeah. I was THAT tired.

Due to this I obviously also didn’t post, which is lame because I feel like I messed up Blaugust right from the start. Then again I hope to grind out two posts today (one in the morning, one in the evening) to make up for it so I can still say I posted one post “every day”. It’s really not that hard to write, but if your body and mind just work against you and the only thing you want to do is sleep it’s really hard to focus on other things.

As far as this post goes, I’d like to take the opportunity and rant a bit about Bard gameplay in FFXIV. I don’t like it at all. I loved the 2.0 Bard. Although damage may have been slightly bad it still gave me the Hunter Archetype to play that I know and love. Now with Heavensward Square Enix turned Bards into semi-casters, completely taking the fun out of the class. If I wanted to cast stuff I would go Black Mage or Summoner, not Bard. It’s really annoying too that you have to work with an immense amount of cooldowns and somehow have to weave those in between casts. It’s losing me tons of DPS time and honestly, I don’t know how to do it better at all. You can’t really move anymore, if you want movement you need to turn off your Wanderer’s Minuet but then your damage drops. It’s sucky. I don’t want to be a stationary caster. I want freedom to move, I want the old Bard gameplay back! And no buffing their shots/damage doesn’t improve the situation at all. Hell, stuff that I normally breeze through on Ninja like Ex-Roulette, Weeping City and Void Ark take me so much effort to do correctly on Bard that I just more or less have given up on playing the class alltogether.
But Sandrian, you say, maybe you just need to give it more time and practice more and then you’ll get better! Ofcourse that is probably the solution. The thing is, I don’t really have the time to practice the class a lot. It’s not something I would want to be doing with the sparse hours of gametime I have during the week. I want to be able to run content and not be frustrated about having to play a broken class. It’s annoying, it puts a strain on me while playing and it makes me want to throw my controller through the room. And it makes me sad, because I used to main Bard but now… It’s just a husk of it’s former glorious self.

I really hope that SE will reconsider the class design with the next big expansion. I want Bard to feel natural to me again since it is one of my favourite class types to play. I guess only time will tell.

Summer?

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It’s about 10.15 am as I start writing this post. My brain is still half asleep and my body is exhausted after working a grueling 40 hour week.
Normally I would be happy working extra hours, because it means extra money. Since I’ve already gone on vacation and summer in the Netherlands is shit anyway I don’t really mind spending more time at the office. However this week has just been incredibly insane and it’s knocked me down majorly. I really need this weekend to regain some energy… which probably won’t really happen since I have a ton of chores waiting for me together with a birthday and the enormous guilt of not going to the gym during the week. All in all I’m unsure how much time I will have to relax, but I do hope to get atleast some hours of gaming in somewhere during the day today and tomorrow.

With me being extremely tired when I got home every evening, and having to cook and do everything myself because my dad and his GF are still in Canada, I’ve not really gotten much done in the way of games. I think I’ve only spent some time playing FFXIV and doing atleast the Moogle dailies… But that’s it. The only positive point here is that my Weaver is now level 58 and I’ve gotten all the old blue scrip gear for my left side to use, so that’s very nice. Other than that I’ve not really made any progress anywhere, not even on any of my 3DS games or my Wii U. It’s sucky, but oh well.

Being still in half zombie stat I’ll keep this post short and sweet. I have a seriously long list of chores to work through, which includes doing atleast three loads of laundry in two days and plucking weeds in the backyard. If my mood clears up a bit and my chores are done I’ll probably come back for a better blog post, but for now this is what you’ll have to do with. I’m sorry!

I Need Energy Pills

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Sunday evening, 21.00. We finally come home from yet another birthday. March is a really busy month and I haven’t had a weekend to myself at all. I notice I’m tired once again, a state I’ve been in for a very long time now and it’s starting to annoy me. All I want to do is sit on my ass and stare at my PC or tablet screen, not really doing anything useful.
I come home like this every day after work. It’s a crazy job with lots to do and at the end of the day I’m completely exhausted and happy to go home. But then the actual real struggle starts: staying awake and making use of my evening. I’ve been considering going to the gym after work, mostly because people say you get energy back from working out. However due to the fact that I still live at home, by the time I get to the gym it’s 20.00 because dinner comes first. At 20.00 I really can’t be arsed to haul my ass to the gym for an hour, come home, shower and then essentially head straight to bed. I want to spend my evening in a more fun way, so that’s out of the question.

I’m trying really hard to not lie down on bed after I get home or after I have eaten. I know that if/when I do, I’ll immediatly fall asleep and won’t wake up for the next 40-60 minutes, and after I do I only feel more tired than I was before.
So yeah, right now I could really use some energy pills to keep me going during the evenings and my day off. I have set many goals for myself this year, both on and offline, and I’m not really getting to any of them due to feeling tired all the time.
I’ve tried adjusting my food habits, and it has helped a bit. For now I just want to get into a rythm for my evenings so that I can relax after work, but still get stuff done without feeling like I just want to head to bed the moment I get home.

I think I also really need to enforce not taking my tablet or phone to bed with me anymore. It keeps me up for too long, the light makes my brain think it’s not sleeping time yet and I notice my sleep quality is much better if I just lie down and attempt to fall asleep, instead of scrolling through whatever website or app for an hour before my eyes finally fall shut. Because when I get a good night’s sleep, I wake up after 8-8.5 hours on my own, feeling rested and ready to take on the day. Instead of waking up and feeling like I just want to go back to sleep again immediatly.

Work Work

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Work has been terribly busy this last week. I’ve wanted to blog a bit sooner, but after I got home I was just too tired to do anything but either mindless gaming or heading to bed. We’ve been really overwhelmed with stuff to do and ever since we had a teamday on Friday there has been some friction between colleagues.
I won’t go into details but there’s one woman who I just don’t get along with and tensions rose quite high yesterday… That I have never been so relieved to have  the day off today. I really have issues working with her, especially on days where it is extremely busy and yesterday was more or less a culmination of well, everything.

Thyrus Zenith

Today though has been a really nice day so far. I’ve gone back and forth to the dentist, did some groceries with my dad and then proceeded to plant my ass infont of my PC (after starting a laundry) figuring out what I want to do first.  The only real downside is that I feel extremely cold. The weather has been odd here over the past weeks, Dutch climate sucks, so I’ve been cold often and today is one of those days. So I’m wrapped up in a big vest, comfy pants and a blanket. I feel like a burrito… But at least I’m sort of warm.

On the gaming front it has been uneventful the past few days. I’ve mostly been logging into FFXIV to do my roulettes and get my beast tribe dailies done, all working towards advancing my Dragoon relic. I’ve been partying up with a friend of mine a lot and we had a few good laughs while tackling the dungeons together.
Levelling up classes has gone by  mostly unnoticed. My Astrologian dinged 40 yesterday and my Bard dinged 57 today, so I’m slowly but steadily working towards my Gaming Goals for FFXIV. I also managed to grab my White Mage 2.0 Relic (Thyrus) so I only have three of those left to do.
For the rest I have decided to cancel my WoW subscription for a while. I’ve only been logging in to do some Garrison missions every day and then log back out again… It’s not really something worth paying money for. So my sub will end the first of March and I don’t think I’ll renew it untill I know what the release date for Legion is. I hope Blizzard can push it out sooner, but it wouldn’t surprise me if we didn’t see the new expansion untill September.

With me dropping WoW, I hope to have more time for my other games, mostly Heroes of the Storm, but also a lot of the single-player games I have lying around that I still want to finish. I’ve really gotten back into Pokémon X again and I’m picking up a special anniversary Mew tomorrow for both my Pokémon X and Alpha Sapphire, so I’m really happy about that.  I just hope I can stick to the game for once and actually play through it properly… Instead of giving up somewhere past the second gym.