So yeah. My official first Sunday Summaries post. I’m gonna look back on what I did during the week and what I have planned for next! My life is ever so interesting ofcourse.

First off, I’m still struggling with some health issues. My usual doctor has kind of given up on trying to find a cause and has sent me to see a specialist, specifically one that concerns the lungs. I’m still wheezing on many occassion when I exert myself and my cough is back in full aswell. This has caused me to feel absolutely horrible over the past week or so and honestly I’m kind of done feeling this way. So off to the specialist I go. My first appointment will be July 25th for another lung capacity test, after that we’ll see.
I’ve also been hard at work on my thesis, testing my cowokers and trying to get my approval for real. It’s all been a little chaotic with lots of things happening simultaneously but I think I can pull it off and be done with this major source of stress for good.
In the work department I’ve been asked to explain how our systems work to the new IT support team. We had a first meeting last week and a second meeting tomorrow. I’m sure they’re lovely people but they’re from India and I’m having real trouble understanding their accent. I’m not sure what’s up with that but not only do they have a difficult accent, they also tend to mumble instead of speak. Really annoying but the meeting was productive nonetheless. I had gotten some praise from some of my coworkers on the other teams afterwards so that’s really nice aswell.

Now onto gaming.
I’ve actually taken it easy this week. Work had gotten me really tired plus I felt like reading more than I did gaming. We did Omega with my new FC static and got everyone their loot for the week plus I think everyone has the Exdeath minion now, so that’s good. I’m rocking ilvl 317 average on my Ninja now and the only gear I can replace still are gloves, boots and chest. Seeing as Omega Savage launches next week I hope I can get some of that sweet loot aswell. We’ll see.
I do have to say that playing, and perfecting, the Ninja has been challenging this expansion. The Ten-Chi-Jin mechanic is not one that I really enjoy and I find it hard to incorporate it in my gameplay. I finally managed to nail my opener though, so that’s a thing. Now I just need to work on my Bhavacakra timing. It’s supposed to be always done during a Trick Attack window and I’m noticing that I’m not really handling that part very well yet. So I still have tons of room for improvement.
As far as leveling goes, I’ve mostly focused on the Red Mage and have gotten her to level 55. This is done via Palace of the Dead which is the fastest level method by far. It takes 3-4 runs of floor 51-60 per level so I could just sit down for about an hour and get a level done. It’s been really nice. I’ve opted to not do the job quests untill I’m level 60 and in full level 60 caster gear. I don’t want to buy things during a time where I know I won’t touch the class outside of Palace of the Dead anyway so that will save me some gil. I’ve also realized that I’ve held on to the HQ healer gear that I had gotten leveling up during Heavensward. I think I’m going to get rid of that aswell seeing as I’m taking the only healer I have left sub 60 (White Mage) through the PotD route aswell. I don’t think I’ll need any of the gear I’ve been saving up there. Plus as added bonus it frees up a ton of space on my retainer. As far as glamour purposes go, I can always get the gear again if I want to. For now I’m just settling on not getting any “new” gear untill level 60 where Palace of the Dead becomes moot and you have to actually grind your way up again through other means.

Next to FFXIV I’ve been poking around in Diablo 3 again after buying the Necromancer pack. The new Diablo season is starting this week so I might just poke my head in for that and play Necromancer for a change. See how the class feels and if it makes the experience fresh enough again for me to stick around.

Next to all the gaming I’ve been reading a lot as I’ve mentioned earlier. I finished off the last David Eddings book that I have in my possesion and started the Lies of Locke Lamora.

Next week
I will have another busy work week. I hope to finish my testing for thesis and I have atleast one important meeting scheduled. There’s also the standard stuff that needs to get done so those will be four days well spent.
I really hope to finish the Lies of Locke Lamora. The book has me hooked, I really enjoy the story buildup and I want to read more! The only downside to finishing it will be that I will have to look for the second part, which I can obtain in various ways.
I want to get my Red Mage to level 60. It really only takes an hour of grinding Palace of the Dead per level or so, so it should be doable. I also want to focus on Miner a bit and get her to 50 and maybe beyond. We’ll see.
I’m going to dive into the new season of Diablo as Necromancer and probably make some sort of report of my journey along the way. I’ve not touched Diablo for quite some time now, enough to feel like I can sink a few hours in again without feeling the burn and frustrations that I’ve been feeling when I did the last few seasons.

All in all a very busy week for me! I hope to be able to tell you guys that I’ve met all my goals next week.

Today’s post is going to be less gaming related and more something personal… With some gaming in the mix I guess. Bare (bear?) with me on this one, I have a very chaotic mind and a slightly chaotic writing style so I’ll try to make this as comprehendable as possible.

Something I notice as active gamer, blogger and online community member is the sheer amount of people that count themselves as introverts. I take a look around on Twitter, I read the blogs in my Feedly, hell I talk to some of my online friends and almost all of them identify as introvert. Some are a bit more outspoken about this than others and that’s okay.
I can get a bit cranky about all the “handbook to introverts” post that seem to pop up on the internet every now and then though. That’s the type of introversion that I can’t really deal with well. It feels a lot like attention whoring which, if I remember correctly, is not something a true introvert would be into at all. So if I rage about these things on Twitter now and then, don’t worry. It’s not that I have something against introverted people, I just have something against people that use said introversion to make them look like a special snowflake.

I myself am an off the scales extravert. I’ve done dozens of personality tests and all of them point in the same direction. I’m highly curious about new experiences, love to partake in social gatherings and have absolutely no issues making new friends fast or talking to strangers. All of this is actually me in real life. I thrive when my life is filled with exciting stuff. Social outings, doing new stuff, doing exhilarating things. I love the feeling of adrenaline pumping through my veins. I’m that girl who will go to the highest steepest waterslide in the waterpark and enjoy the adrenaline rush that I get when standing at the top gazing down what I’m about to do. I’m that girl who will stand on glass bridges over cliffs, staring into the abyss and loving it. I will be that girl who will be chatty with anyone at a party and go home with a new friend or a possible new friend.
This also has translated to my MMO habits for a long time. Due to work restrictions I’m more or less forced to be a “Low Energy” player. Someone who takes a more casual approach and enjoys games as they come. But in my heart of hearts I’m a “High Energy” player. I always want new stuff, more stuff. To be bigger, better, louder! I want to be the first one to race to max level in a new expansion. To get geared. To start clearing raids. More more more, higher higher higher. In my glory days of raiding in WoW I even tried to get into one of the best guilds at the time: Method. Unfortunately I got denied due to not having enough server first experiences but the hunger to join them was there.

If you look at this fact, and how I described earlier that I’m mostly surrounded by introverted people, it’s not strange that I have issues recognizing and identifying with their issues. Of course I am depressed sometimes myself. Ofcourse I have anxieties. Even though I like being around people and tend to draw attention to me I’ve also suffered from crippling anxieties that related to self-image and confidence.
However, where introverts experience their anxieties in relation to people, stress brought on by dealing with people and the fear of the unknown, my depression and anxieties usually have roots in lacking these exact things. I’ve had a very rough year where I was more or less isolated from a lot of social interactions. I was at home, unemployed and done with my education and it slowly drove me mad. I get my energy from being out and about and interacting with people on a daily basis. When I don’t get that I spiral into a black hole that is really difficult to crawl out of. Where an introvert will be happy when a big social event gets cancelled, since they don’t have to deal with the stress of interacting with people, for me it’s a major bummer. It’s denying me the energy and positivity I take out of these things and will confine me to my home where I’m alone, staring at four walls which I hate.

Looking at all of this it’s actually quite strange that one of my biggest hobbies is gaming. I guess there’s a reason why I massively prefer MMO’s over any other genre, but still. Gaming isn’t necessarily a social activity and it’s probably also the reason why I have periods where I’m just completely done with gaming and being a gamer. It’s a nice hobby to have though since it helps me get through days where I have nothing planned or when I have moods where I just want to be left alone.
It’s also the reason why I sometimes feel like I don’t entirely fit into the larger gaming/blogging/internet community as a whole. The internet is an increasingly “safe” domain for a lot of introverted people who are normally afraid of social interactions. It’s safer doing it from an environment where in essence you are talking to a person, but in reality you are typing on/talking to a screen. Whereas I’m way more comfortable talking to someone in person so I can read their body and social cues that you lack on the world wide web. It’s reading posts where people, very justifiably so, express their worry about group content, endgame content, about how to enjoy a game, about how to deal having to play with strangers. Posts I don’t really recognize any of myself in because I don’t have any issues with any of this. It’s people who say they need some alone time, to retreat, play alone or recharge that I don’t identify with. I charge up by playing WITH others and get drained when I have to do everything alone.

It’s all these little things that make me wonder sometimes, do I really fit in? Is this really the platform for me? Am I not to different from all these people I surround myself with? And honestly, up untill today I’ve not been able to answer these questions.

P.S.
As I write this it’s rather funny to realize that all my IRL friends are actually very outgoing and sociable like I am, all extraverts in a sense. And there I tend to not really “fit in” due to my “serious” gaming hobby. It’s kind of odd how the world works huh?

As I sit down to write this post I’m still progressing yesterday and today in my mind. Both days have been exhausting in their own ways and both days managed to put a real damper on my mood. Especially trying to make it through an entire day of work while being so tired that I actually almost fell asleep a few times behind my desk has left me reeling. I’m still incredibly tired and will probably head to bed not long after this post is published, but I felt like I had to write to just get stuff off my chest, both good and bad.

First off…
I went to see a friend of mine yesterday who normally lives in Norway. For the summer though he’s actually visiting Dutchieland since his girlfriend lives here and I really wanted to meet up when he was here since he’s a cool guy and I hadn’t seen him in forever, not really counting the 3 hours after he landed somewhere before Christmas. So I took a train to the other side of the country and met up with him and her and it would be a day of watching “Stranger Things” (which I now need to finish, damnit), catching Pokémon at the local park and something I can only describe as a tantrum a 3 year old would be proud of during dinner. Which made the rest of the evening go by slowly and quite awkward. Only good thing is that I made massive progress in Pokémon Go, hit level 12 on my Trainer and got enough Eevee’s to get my first evolution… Which turned into Vaporeon!
For someone who is quite casual about the game it’s really nice to get a bit of progress in and catch/evolve some Pokémon I hadn’t obtained yet. I even managed to get a Pikachu, so that made me really happy aswell.

One of my goals for this month was to finish the Story Mode of Kirby: Planet Robobot. With me having to travel about 2 hours back and forth yesterday this gave me the perfect opportunity to do just that. I had been slowly pushing through all the zones, making sure I got all the datacubes in every level as I played. I actually managed to get all the datacubes, which unlocks a rare sticker, by the time I was in the bus home for the last leg of the journey. Which left me with just the endboss to kill. Or well “just the endboss”… The last Boss level of this particular Kirby game is a chain of bossfights. They’re all executed well and are all unique and fun, but holy hell. I never imagined that defeating all those fights would take me almost an hour, but it was definately worth it. As of now I’m at 70% completion for the entire game. I’m not sure if it counts stickers collected since I still need a lot of those or if it just looks at completion of the different game modes.
With finishing story mode I unlocked The Arena and the Metaknight Nightmare modes, both of which are fun to play. In the Arena you just take on bosses. In the Nightmare mode you rerun the game as Meta Knight and try to set a good time doing so. I’ve tested both modes shortly before heading to bed since by then it was almost 12 and I had to work today so I couldn’t really stay up that late.
In any case I can already scratch off one gaming goal of my August to-do list and this pleases me a lot. I’ve not been this hooked on a game in a very long time and for me to complete it and see the credit rolls within three to four weeks of buying the game is something that hasn’t happened in a very long time. Granted I could have played through much faster but I mostly play my 3DS on the train as I travel to and from work, which was just enough time to complete exactly one level. I clocked in about 10 hours on the game to finish Story Mode with all the Data Cubes. This is more or less in line with the average on “How Long to Beat”. Now I just need to 100% the game.. Which I plan to do eventually.

For now though I’m going to bed happy knowing I only have to work one more day this week and then have a nice gaming weekend to look forward to. I foresee a lot of Yo-Kai grinding, Crystal Tower and maybe even some Overwatch in my not to distant future.

Ever since I started work in November my life has been messed up quite a lot. Going from having all the time in the world, to suddenly having to plan what I do with my time has been rough on me. And the moment I finally get used to my normal work schedule, I get asked to work extra. Which not only totally messes up my normal routine, but also makes me very very tired, leaving me to just go to bed after dinner and a shower rather than staying up and game.
The past two or three weeks have been absolutely insane for me, working a lot of hours and having my weekends booked with all types of activities, including a company party. But after sleeping for about 9 hours last night I finally feel refreshed enough to sit down and write something on here again.

So what have I been up to then?
I have been gaming over the last few weeks. Mostly focusing my time on FFXIV and The Division. I never thought I would pick up the Division, shooters aren’t really my genre, but I’m very happy that I did. I absolutely love the tactical gameplay. I love that taking cover is a huge thing in firefights. And I love the exploration and RPG part of the game.
My entire experience with the Division has been positive so far, with only one tiny thing that I was unhappy with: female character customization. To be blunt, if I want a Caucasian female look I end up with a character with a seriously weird face that can’t even have longer hair than a tiny ponytail. I like the fact that I can play as a woman though, I just wish they were designed better.

In FFXIV I’ve mostly been trying to get Lore cap and work on my relic. I’m a bit burnt out on levelling, so it’s nice to focus on something else for a bit. It’s also very relaxing to know you only really have to do ex-roulette as you log on and then can do random silly things instead of hardcore levelling or raiding.

Other interests
I’ve finally finished off season 3 of Hannibal and am now officially done with the show. It’s been a long ride and I have loved every minute of it. You can see the makers clearly intended for another season, as there is an extra scene after the end credits of the last episode that makes the ending very open. Alas NBC ended the contract and I fear we will never see a season 4 of Hannibal.
I have also resubbed to Netflix and am now devouring Daredevil. Currently on episode 9 of season 1, I should be finished on time for season 2. I really love the dark grittiness of the show, and my word the guy who plays Daredevil is hot. I will definately watch season 2 as soon as it’s out and after that I will probably turn my attention to Jessica Jones.

Something else I’ve gotten really into lately is make-up and beauty products. Working in an environment full of women some things rub off on you eventually and I notice I really like fiddling around with how I look. So over the past week I’ve really been investing into quality make-up products (brands like OPI, Clinique and MAC) that will last me a while, instead of the €3 lipsticks I’ve been buying up untill now. I’m still a rookie when it comes to a lot of things, I can’t contour my face for the life of me, but I enjoy picking out lipsticks and nailpolish for the day and week and just take a few minutes to make myself look pretty.
It really cuts into my budget though. A “prestige” brand will charge easily over €20 for a single lipstick, but seeing as it will last you a very long time and it just looks good AND doesn’t dry out my lips like cheaper brands do I feel like it’s a solid investment. Not to mention it makes me look much more professional at work.

So what is next?
For the time being I’m just going with the flow of things. When I’m tired I turn away from games and towards Netflix. I’ll try to blog a bit more regularly and will probably blog a bit more about my other interests besides gaming aswell… Although that will always be my main subject.
Seeing as March is a seriously busy month for me I really need to get my sleep schedule in order aswell, because coming home extremely tired every night is seriously sucky and not something I plan on doing for the weeks to come.

Hello everyone and welcome to my brand new website!

I’ve spent quite some time fiddling around with my blog, and I’m not quite done yet… But I finally found the right plugin that would transfer over all the content from my Blogger blog. So there’s that. I’m still fiddling around with my theme and widgets. I’m superhappy I can finally use the Warcraft one, although it hasn’t been updated in ages… As the rest of the week passes I think I will add more stuff to my blog, especially to the sidebar. Keep an eye out for my social media buttons, I will be way more active on Twitter and Instagram aswell as getting active again on Anook and maybe Player.me.

The makings of a new Exarch!

The makings of a new Exarch!

Warrior Times
I’ve been poking my nose into WoW quite actively again for the last few weeks, mostly focussing on Sandrian, the Warrior. I’ve had a ton of quests still lying around, so I’m slowly working my way through them. I finished off the Garisson Campaign quests for Tanaan and am currently working my way through the original questline for that aswell. I helped Yrel become an Exarch this morning. I forgot about that little quest and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed doing it again. Blizzard has made some awesome lore bits and pieces in this expansion… Too bad it didn’t save the expansion as a whole.
For now the plans remain to finish off the quests I still have and start working towards completing achievements. I’m also almost on the final stage of my Legendary Ring, so it would be a shame not to push for that either.
All in all I seem to be able to play casually and still have some fun while doing so. My guild has ceased raiding after they killed Archimonde HC again on monday evening, people couldn’t be bothered to show up anymore, myself included. The only thing I would still like to do that is raiding related is to get the raiding achievements done. I hope I can find or make a PuG for this myself, but that’s something to worry about later.

Toes and FFXIV Woes
As I’m writing this my toe is actually healing quite well. I got to take the bandage off last night, and even though it was partly stuck which caused my wound to reopen a bit again… It’s been healing up nicely. I barely have pain at all anymore, except when I try to walk on it like I would do normally. It looks like when I just stay clear of putting pressure on my foot I’m mostly fine, so that’s what I’m doing. I have a “pajama vacation” and am just sitting around in my pajama’s and a bath robe, gaming all day. It’s a really nice break from work, although being sick means I won’t get paid for this week… Which does kind of suck.
In FFXIV I feel like I’ve been hitting a bit of a brick wall. I’ve been farming hard for my Dragoon Zeta yesterday afternoon and am now on 4/12 Mahatma’s completed. It’s not really a hard grind, it just requires some patience… Which I obviously don’t have. If I can focus enough I do about 2 Mahatma’s per hour, which means I have 4 hours of farming to go still. I really want to finish it off this week, and if I can just motivate myself to keep on running Garuda and Shiva HM I’m sure I’ll get it done in no time. It’s just the motivating part that’s hard… I’m not having an easy time just getting absorbed by the game anymore, like I used to, and although I have a huge list of things I want to achieve… Actually doing all of that has become much more of a chore than I thought it would be. I’m still determined to see it through though. I just need to get out of this little slump I’ve been finding myself in after I dinged my Ninja 60…

As far as my new website goes. If you have any feedback, please tell me! So far I’m happy with the theme since it’s quite clean. I just need to decide on a proper background picture to go with it… And most likely look at a new header picture.
This also means that my old Blogspot address will no longer get updated with posts! So if you have me in your RSS feed, change it to this website, or you will be left wondering why I won’t be updating my blog anymore.

Actually by the time I’m writing this particular post it’s already past 2 in the afternoon here, but what the heck, it’s morning somewhere in the world right? So I’m just going to go with Morning muses…

Sunday is a weird day for me. I’ve turned it into my chores day for the week, since it’s usually the day that I know I will be at home to get stuff done. This means that for a big part of the rest of the week I let my room become this huge mess, which I then clean up on Sundays. This entails folding away a few days worth of clean laundry, taking all the dishes downstairs and clean them, dust and vacuum my room and changing my bedsheets.
It’s also the day I consider my “offscreen” day. Because I plan all my chores on this day, and because I spend enough time staring at one computer screen or the other the entire week, it’s nice to look at something else besides pixels on a screen.

This week I find it even more important to just stay away from using my wrist/mouse too much. I’m not sure how I did it, but I’ve hurt my wrist somehow with either sleeping on it the wrong way, or making a wrong move with carrying my bag. I know what RSI feels like, and this isn’t it. It just feels like a muscle pulled the wrong way at some point, and when I make certain movements it kind of hurts… Which also limits the time I’m able to use a mouse. Which is incredibly sucky seeing as I’ve been playing Diablo 3 a lot the past two days… Which you largely navigate by using your mouse.

Speaking of Diablo… I realize how much of a love/hate relationship I really have with that game. I always love the new Season starts, only to be disappointed about a week of playing in. You see, when I picked up this game at the inital launch we had a little group of friends that would play with eachother. That group of friends is still there… Only whereas they still play together, I feel like I’m being left out. I know that I can come across as whiny in all my posts about my friendships lately, but I’m just really sick of how things are going and have developed over the last year. I don’t always want to be the one to start things up anymore, or the one to stay in touch. And it’s affecting my gameplay and the enjoyment of some games, but most of all Diablo 3.
So for this season I’ve set my standards quite low. I just want to play my monk and unlock all the chapter rewards. I’m not aiming to be the best on the Greater Rift ladders (because honestly I really can’t be arsed to put in the time) but I do want to experience all the new stuff Blizzard has added. So doing atleast one Class Set Dungeon is quite high on my list. As of right now I need to complete about five more challenges to finish up my last chapter, all of which are tied to playing more so I can earn rewards to tackle content. This Season I don’t have to worry about gear, because Blizzard has been nice enough to hand you a full set for completing challenges in the chapters. So I’m rocking a 4/6 Sunwuko set with a really disgusting build. And loving it… For now.

Weekend Entertainment
A thing that has rolled around again is LCS or League Championship Series. Although I haven’t played League of Legends in forever, I love watching the various series in the weekends. This year I prefer the NA scene over the EU scene, simply because the players I cheer for and enjoy most are playing in that region at the moment. I’m cheering extra hard for Renegades this split, since they are the first team to have a girl on the starting roster and I’m damn proud that she made it up to that stage.
Other than that I’m still cheering my butt off for Doublelift, who should be able to become a formidable force down in the botlane now that he has Yellowstar as support. Although my heart broke when Doublelift left CLG and “Rush Hour” botlane was no more, I’m sure he can make it work with his new Support. So yeah, suddenly I became a TSM fan after being a CLG fan for many seasons.

I don’t actually actively follow all the games. There are a select few I will watch, the rest I listen to while playing FFXIV for instance. It’s nice background “noise” for my Botanist leveling. I have to say my hour per day approach is seriously working for that. With the GC manuals, the GC daily turn-in and just doing leve’s I’ve already managed to get to level 43. I think I’ll be 50 soon enough, especially if I keep on doing about 2 levels a day.
The only thing I need to motivate myself for now is farming my Dragoon Zeta…

I wanted to blog about a completely different topic today, when Alan Rickman’s death suddenly popped up in a Whatsapp group chat. I couldn’t believe it, immediatly opened my news app on my phone and was sadly confirmed that he had indeed died at the age of 69.
With losing David Bowie earlier this week and Lenny of Mötorhead it feels like the start of 2016 has been a really bad one, in terms of celebrities dying. Although all deaths are tragic and to be mourned, especially by their loved ones, the Alan Rickman one hit me a bit harder than usual.

I grew up reading and watching the Harry Potter movies, and I hold the firm belief that he was perfectly casted for the role of Severus Snape. Snape had always been my favourite character in the books, way way back to when I started to read the first one and when I saw which actor portrayed him… I was so happy. He played him so well.
Ofcourse Snape isn’t the only big role he played. I especially enjoyed him as Metatron in Dogma and also as his role of Alexander in Galaxy Quest. Hell the only reason I knew who he was in Harry Potter was because I had seen him in these movies before. He was one of my favourite British actors and personalities, right up there with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. Alan has always struck me as a kind and friendly man, even though he has portrayed a lot of villains in the movies he was in. He was a brilliant actor and I hope he is now free of the pain that his disease must have caused him.
He will be missed dearly by a lot of people.

Half a toe
I haven’t really been online over the past week in general. Work has been busy and I’ve been feeling exhausted when I got home, so mostly I spent my evenings staring at my PC and not getting much done of anything really. Going out to dinner last night kind of ruined my plans for the entire evening aswell, but did make me realize I had to go see my GP. You see I have a very painful spot on my pinky toe, I think the correct English term is a “corn”? Not sure, The skin is hardened anyway and it hurts and no matter what I do… It doesn’t go away. I can’t really be comfortable in any of my shoes anymore so I had to face reality last night as I was walking to the restaurant… And was almost crying because it hurt so much. Seeing my GP in the morning we both came to the conclusion that it needs to be cut off… Which will mean I will roughly get half my pinky toe cut off on monday (yes the spot is THAT big). Which also means I can’t go to work after seeing as I got the advise to let my foot rest as much as possible… Which is kind of hard if you have to get to work 3 days after you get a surgical procedure like that done.
So next week I’ll be sittting at home, with my foot up on a stool, hoping my toe will heal correctly and that I’ll be rid of it forever. This will also probably be the ideal time for me to catch up on a lot of things… Including some university stuff that I’ve been waiting to wrap up forever.
Although I’m happy I’m getting some time “off” I’m bummed I can’t go to work. It’s less income for me that way… And I can really use the money. Not to mention I’m majorly stressing out about the healing itself since from the 25th till the 30th my agenda is absolutely swamped. I’m going to an Ellie Goulding concert (luckily with tickets for seats) and I have two wedding parties to attend. And I really don’t want to cancel all of that because of a stupid thing on my foot.

I’ll keep you guys updated on how things go… And spare you the nasty pictures.

Hello everyone and welcome to my monthly weight check up column type thing. I’m actually not sure how to call this but I just want to check in once a month and “report” on how my weight loss is going. I’m planning to do this on the first sunday of every month… Which will also be the time where I choose to stand on the scale.
I don’t like looking at my weight, since it’s mostly a confirmation of the horrible year that 2015 has been for me, marked by inactivity, binge eating and lots of therapy. I’m slowly coming down from that again now though and am currently 70kg (as you can see on the picture). As you can also see, my goal weight is 60kg and with the rate of weightloss I’m having now I should reach that goal in +/- 10 months.
I’m basing this off the fact that I’m more or less dropping 1kg per month now and that is on a pattern of technically not going to the gym and only on the activity I get on my workdays. I’m hoping to start dropping more weight, since one of my New Year’s resolutions was to go to the gym more often, which I am actually planning on doing.

Reward System
To keep me motivated to stay on my path of losing weight I bought a few Disney Infinity figurines yesterday that I want to use as reward every time I lose 2kg. Depending on how lazy I am this can mean I get one new figurine every two months… Or one every month. I’ve packed them up and stored them away in a cabinet so I don’t know which figurine is which anymore, thus making it a true surprise when I open one up. Something I will absolutely share on the blog here with you guys! I’m really excited to see this through and forcing myself to make atleast a monthly update will hopefully keep my motivation high aswell.

Music Wars
I entered an interesting conversation yesterday with a friend after he linked me a videoclip by Limp Bizkit… Who I never liked. I told him I could find way better music than that and with that started a sort of musical War. The rules are a bit unclear but mostly it’s about linking songs together. This can be done through various ways. It can be the same artist, there can be words shared in the title but also more complicated links are allowed like titles sharing a same theme or songs being on a same compilation CD. I even managed to link two songs together because they were directed by the same guy. Oh and I linked Led Zeppelin to The Who due to Keith Moon basically giving Led Zeppelin it’s name. So far it’s been a really fun game which we can keep on playing on and off inbetween the rest of our conversations. It took up most of my evening last night, preventing me from playing any games. But it’s totally worth it having a night filled with music and fun with a friend.

And who knew you could ever link Lady Gaga to U2?

Before looking ahead to 2016 and what the year will bring to my personal life, I need to look back at 2015 first.
To be fair, 2015 has been one of the roughest years in my life so far. Things were looking very grim at the start of the year when I decided to go into therapy to tackle my many many issues. Mostly they had to do with insecurities that were my demons and were driving me insane. I spent a good year of 2015 in therapy, from January untill September and even though I wasn’t always happy about going, I’m really glad I did.
I have some demons I will probably never get rid off. I’ve been firmly raised with the idea that nothing I did was ever good enough, so whenever something goes wrong I immediatly blame myself and kick myself over it again and again. I shouldn’t do that and I’ve come far enough to prevent it a lot now, but every now and then I still go back into that black mood. It’s almost cost me a friendship and probably a lot of job opportunities, but in the end I feel stronger for it. It was also the year where I was desperately trying to find a job and finally managed to get a permanent one in November.
For the first time in my life I have actually been challenged to manage my time better and even though the first weeks or so were panicky for me I think I finally managed to find a rythm that works and so I can start doing other stuff than just sleep when I come home from work.

I don’t want to look back on 2015 too much because all in all it has just been a painful year. Instead I want to focus on 2016 and how I plan to achieve my goals!

First off: The Weight Thing
I’ve been struggling with my weight for a very long time now and last year marked my peak where I was on my heaviest. A combination of not getting any exercise and binge eating brought me to 75kg, which is quite too heavy for a girl my length. Ever since I’ve started my job in November I’ve gotten a Fitbit and a more healthy lifestyle and the results are slowly paying off. Even though I’m not going to the gym as often as I should, I already am losing some weight and am hovering around 70kg now. My goal for 2016 is to get down to 60kg again and preferably a bit below. This means I will need to keep an eye on what I eat but also make more of an effort to go to the gym, especially on days where I don’t work.
My ultimate goal is to drop down all the way to <55kg but no further than 50. I have been down there in the past (about 3-4 years ago) so I know I can do it, it just requires some effort on my behalf.

To help me get there I decided to try out a reward system for myself. One of the game stores close to where I live has a sale on Disney Infinity Figurines and I’m planning to buy 3 of them and pack them up. Whenever I drop 2 kg’s I get to open one up and use it for my game. I really hope I can stick to this and that it will be positive reinforcement to keep on losing weight! Ofcourse this means I only have a reward for the first 6 kg’s going off, but I’ll think of more rewards later for when I hit 62 and ultimately 60kg. I want the 60 kg to be a big reward since it means I will have reached my goal then… Any suggestions in that area are therefore welcome!

Moving Out
The moment I got my job I started cheering. Not only does this mean I have a more permanent source of income… It also means I can start looking for a place to live.
I’m turning 27 in March and it really is time to get my own place. I’ve been desperately wanting to move out since I was 18, but real life happened and it’s been delayed and delayed. Now that I can start building a steady and solid income and put a lot of money aside I think moving out will be one of my biggest priorities in 2016.
This will mean I need to discuss a lot of money things with my dad and my uncle, mostly about whether I’m able to buy a house or that renting is my only option for now. For now I’m just waiting for my first real tax business so I can learn the ropes there and maybe get some money back that I’ve paid to much last year!

Other resolutions
Like most people I have to admit I’m more or less addicted to screen time. My job involves hanging infront of a computer three to four days a week and when I get home I immediatly transfer to another screen to play games. Put phone/tablet use inbetween and it feels like I am online 24/7. I want to try to limit this time by not allowing myself to take my tablet and/or phone to bed with me anymore.

Tieing in with this is my desire to finally get a healthy sleep rythm going in the first place. Going to bed early on workdays is something that is already happening, but I notice I just don’t get enough sleep. So I put an alarm on my phone that will go off at 22.45 on evenings where I have work the next morning, signaling me to close down and finish whatever it is I am doing and start heading to bed. This way I hope I’ll be able to fall asleep easier and at a more appropriate time so that I don’t feel so tired during the day anymore. Which also means I don’t feel the need to immediatly head to bed the moment I come home from work. If I can pull this off I will probably also feel much better on my days off… Which will help me be more energetic in general and pursue my weight loss goal by just going to the gym on the mornings I am off.

All in all I hope 2016 is the year where everything comes together for me. I’ve had such a shitty time last year on so many fronts… I really just need some positivity in my life.

Typing this blog post on my tablet I realise how busy I have been over the past month and a half.
I started a new job in November and I have been making crazy days, leaving me to come home absolutely shattered and not wanting to do anything but relax and sleep. Even now during Christmas time I can’t really get properly rested seeing as I have a very full schedule and have to work a few days in between Christmas and new year’s eve.
However since I do have a bit more free time than usual I wanted to draw up a small post of things I want to get done within the next week. So here we go:
In FFXIV
● Finish off dragoon zeta.
● Level Ninja to 60
● Do starlight celebration on both Moogle and Cactuar character.
Other games
● Play through as much of the “Inside Out” plays et on Disney infinity as possible. Currently 3 levels done.
● Advance in Pokemon X as much as possible.
My FF goals have priorities over the other two, but I think only playing FF will drive me nuts. Plus I am not home all the time and I can take my 3DS with me on the road.
Hopefully a new year will bring a bit more peace to my life so I can start living more regularly and plan stuff better.  For now I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.