I think I’ve mentioned numerous time on this blog that I’m an avid League of Legends fan. I really enjoy following the scene, my preferred team is H2K from Europe and I make sure I watch every match they play during the regular seasons and I thoroughly enjoy watching the big tournaments, always rooting for the EU teams to get far.
I also enjoy all the faces of League, with the two Belgians being my favourite caster and interviewer/caster/doitall. These are people who worked hard to get to where they are, basically gave up their normal life at home to live in a different country and chase their dreams and make a career out of something that was deemed a very odd choice only a few years ago.

Yesterday the League of Legends scene was shook by a revelation by one of the casters that some very personal photos of his were leaked onto the internet. Now let me get one thing straight. People are allowed to make mistakes. At some point on my life I had a longer distance relationship with a guy that I sexted with and also sent one or two naughty pictures. This was a while ago and it’s something I’ve never done anymore after. This was a guy I had known for a longer time (over a year atleast), who I met in person a few times and who I trusted to not spread said pictures when our relationship eventually failed. Luckily for me he never did so my reputation never got tarnished in that way.
However, some people are malicious and will gain your trust with malicious goals in mind. I am 100% sure that this is the case right now seeing as a lot of the controversy happened over snapchat which deletes everything unless you screenshot it, and when you do the person on the other side gets notified. Some malicious person went a step further and used two phones. One to snap on, one to record said snaps. Again, this is malicious, thought out and specifically done to hurt someone. The only victim here is the caster who, next to his trust being tarnished and his persona being defiled, may actually lose his career over this. Good job random malicious girl, you ruined his life. This has been a case of catfishing in extreme form and with only one goal in mind: destruction.

A lot of people are joining the “well he shouldn’t have sent these pictures then” bandwagon. In hindsight that’s easy to say. When it doesn’t involve you that’s easy to say. It’s always easy to say when it concerns someone else. In hindsight I regretted sending some semi-nudes aswell. It’s then that I decided to not do it anymore in the future and I stuck to it, even though I have had boyfriends asking me. It’s something that I know is not safe, because you never know what happens to the pictures in the hands of someone else. It also only confirms to me that in general the internet isn’t 100% safe. It’s why I feel free enough to share with my readers that I have health issues, psychological issues and social issues… But I will never disclose exactly where I live, where I work, where I went to school etc. Because honestly, disclosing too much about yourself in an online world isn’t safe. There may always be a malicious person that can use that information to do… whatever with.

I don’t want to be all negative about the internet and it’s users. The majority are perfectly innocent. They enjoy our new age where we are a lot more online than ever and don’t use it to pursue malicious goals. It has also given people who have trouble with social interactions a “safe place” to get social anyway, without all of the awkwardness. I just want to shine a light on the uglier side of the worldwideweb and maybe give a warning aswell. Everyone is free to do what they want. If you want to send nudes to your boyfriend or girlfriend, by all means do it. If you want to talk about your work, your home, your loved ones please don’t feel like you can’t. But be aware that things online these days are forever and what consequences your personal actions might have. Even if they appear innocent.

Warrior dinged 50 and with that I earned a whole slew of Achievements. Go me!

So that is one goal I can scratch off my list. I’m currently working on Dark Knight who just dinged 40 today, so there it’s only 10 levels left aswell!
I’ve also found a friendly FC and a static group for Stormblood. I will be maining Ninja and I hope to be able to tackle the content again like I did in A Realm Reborn. Other than that I’m working on getting my Astrologian weapon from Palace of the Dead upgraded and also still working on my Ninja Anima weapon. I’m halfway through the Umbrites stage now, with about 4-6 Umbrites a day earned that’s not too shabby at all!


My third health issues post in a very short amount of days. Damn we just keep on going don’t we?
Today I spent about 4 hours in the hospital after my doctor saw some weird values in my blood. Long story short: my mum’s side has issues with blood cloths. Two of my uncles have been treated for ones in their legs, my mum died of one when she was 45 and I have atleast one aunt who has had multiple strokes. So yeah, blood is an issue in my family. Apparently they can tell by a certain value in your blood that you may or may not have these same issues. The value in my blood indicated something was up, but not really what. So the thing to do was pack my things and move to the hospital where I would get a CT scan to see if anything serious was up.
I can tell you, being in a hospital with nothing to do but wait is seriously annoying. Atleast I got lunch there otherwise I would’ve been extremely hungry aswell. After all was said and done it appears that my lungs are clean and I don’t have anything major life threatening health issues… But I still feel off.

I’m still out of breath easy. I still start coughing whenever my asthma medication wears out. I personally think I’m having a rather intense allergic reaction to something which is causing me to feel this way, but only time will tell. For now I’m still at home sick, giving me ample time to game and do other things that I’ve been neglecting.

Speaking of games…

I’ve been getting back into Destiny next to FFXIV.  It took me forever to get on top of that stupid mountain, but I made it and got the SIVA fragment as reward, plus this nice screenshot. I worked my way up to 390 light on my Warlock so this in theory makes me ready to raid. Now I just need to find a group to do said raid with.
I know this week is Iron Banner and I think I want to dip my toes in that aswell, just to get the ranks and see how the gamemode is. I’ve missed out on a lot of things in this game so I’m working very hard to try to do and see everything it has to offer before Destiny 2 launches. This mostly includes finding all the collectables, doing Crucible, doing strikes and weekly missions and try to clear as many quests from my log as I can on the Warlock atleast.
I’m also leveling my Titan and Hunter up so I can clear their respective sections in the Age of Triumph book. And earn some of the trophies I’ve been missing still. But most of all I’ve been having fun with friends, and that is what really matters at the end of the day.

Bonus screenie of my warlock in a silly snowglobe hat:

With Stormblood not that far off, 6 weeks, I’ve found myself slowly getting back into Final Fantasy XIV. During Heavensward I’ve not really played as much as I did during ARR. I started out great, got my Dragoon up to 60 really fast, geared her and then my interest waned. I didn’t raid anymore, hell I didn’t do any endgame content at all and leveling other classes wasn’t one of my interests straight away. So Heavensward for me has been a cycle type expansion where I play for a few weeks, level something up, clear out my quest log, do the new dungeons/encounters, work a bit on my Relic and then I disappear for a few weeks again.

I’ve tried out all the new jobs with Astrologian quickly becoming my favourite healer. I’ve always regretted not spending more time on this game to get atleast all my battle classes to max level. I’m a lorebeast in any MMO I play and the class/job quests are some of the most interesting things Square Enix has put into the game. So right now I’m trying to make up for that by getting atleast all my battle classes to 50 before Stormblood launches and make some sort of sprint to 60 for a few more. Right now the only two classes I have below level 50 are Warrior and Dark Knight, which is cool in a way because they’re Tanks which means I have no issues chaining dungeons to level if I want to. Instant queues for the win. My Warrior is now level 43 and Dark Knight is 36 so getting them both to 50 before Stormblood shouldn’t be an issue at all. Just doing the challenge log + level/guildhest roulettes and finishing up the hunting log nets you a lot of experience and it isn’t as mind numbing as spamming Palace of the Dead over and over again. If I play it right I might even be done with this particular goal in less than two weeks, freeing up the last few weeks to tick off a few other things…

Most importantly my Anima weapon. I’m still stuck on the Umbrites step and I really want to finish atleast one Anima weapon before Stormblood hits. I was in the same frenzy with Heavensward release but again, in theory it should be doable. I have enough time on my hands now that I’ve slowly pulled myself away from World of Warcraft. I still log there every now and then to do a few World Quests and work through the Broken Isles weekly quests, but that’s mostly it. Since the raiding has stopped the game itself has completely lost my interest and the only reason I’m still playing at all is because my game time is paid up untill June 13th. I’m fully planning to cancel that sub so I can focus on Stormblood. But yeah, back to the Anima weapon. I have a decent amount of Sands sitting around to be used and it’s really the Umbrite farm that is holding me back. Which is really silly because 150 Lore is nothing and if I just do my roulettes I should be up to speed in no time.
It’s just a bit of a chore dividing my attention between the Relic farm on the one hand and levelling my remaining classes on the other hand. Add to that fact that I’m still unsure what I want to main in Stormblood and my FFXIV time is a little chaotic right now. I was intent on continuing with my Ninja but seeing as Square is adding 2 more DPS classes I predict DPS queues to be hell on earth the first few weeks of the expansion. So I’m thinking that I want to focus on maining a Healer or Tank at first instead and then level up a DPS class as secondary. Seeing as how I really enjoy playing Astrologian, and I’m actually quite decent at it on my PS4 which is the game version I’m getting, I think I might focus on that class. I really have to see what they do with the “new” gameplay though because that’s more of a dealbreaker than anything else.

For now though my last few weeks of Heavensward will look a little like this:

  • Level Warrior and Dark Knight to 50
  • Finish up Anima weapon for Ninja
  • Level Machinist to 60 (I’m only 3 levels off…)
  • Level a tank to 60 (most likely Warrior)
  • Decide what to main for Stormblood!

Let’s see how far I’ll actually get!

Last week I wrote a little thing about having some health issues. Some physical and what I believed to be mostly mental. This week I went to see my doctor and got some clarity on what exactly is happening to me.

I went in with the mindset that I would complain about a cough that wouldn’t go a way and having some difficulty breathing. However when I got to the practice I was more than a little out of breath. This continued after I sat down in the office to which my doctor became very concerned and basically told me off for waiting so long to come to him in the first place. He listened to my lungs (which were clean), took my blood pressure (which was good) and then got scared shitless after seeing my heartrate. It was up to 130 which, by all accounts, is way too high. My oxygen level in my blood was good, but it was costing my body a lot of effort and energy to maintain said levels, thus leading to me feeling exhausted and having trouble breathing.
He made me take some asthma medicine to help my lungs open up a bit in the hope that it would also temper my heart rate. Which initially it did. I dropped down to 110, which is still to high, but not as high as it was. However a few minutes later, after I had to physically exert myself, my heart rate shot up again causing him to plan an emergency ECG just to see if my heart wasn’t the one responsible for me feeling bad. Luckily for me the ECG looked fine and I got sent home with an inhalator and asthma medication and some prednisone for three days to battle whatever was going on in my body.

Today I’m on day two of medication. I can’t say I feel significantly better in the breathing and heartracing department, especially in the afternoon. My body is just completely exhausted and I think I will feel like this for a little while longer. The prednisone seems to do it’s job though. My coughing has been brought down to a bare minimum, my nose cleared up and my eyes aren’t that watery anymore, which is good.
The inhalation thing is draining. I have to do 6×2 inhalations per day. It’s quite a heavy dose and I’m noticing one of the side effects really badly, which is having serious tremors of my hands right after I take the medication. It subsides within 10-15 mins but still, it’s kind of scary. I’m kind of housebound, I can’t really get out and do stuff. Actually my doctor advised me to not do anything for the weekend, which is really stupid but I get it.

So yeah. I’m going back to the doctor on monday to see how my situation has improved and if I’m okay to work again. Even if it’s only for half days. Because sitting at home all day is driving me slightly nuts.

I think one of the reasons I’ve not really had the energy or motivation to write on this blog has to do with me having multiple health issues.
In general I’m not really an unhealthy person. I’m slightly overweight (about 10kg/22lbs) and it bothers me, but not in a way that it’s causing me serious health issues. I don’t really have a superb stamina but I can do my things and go to the gym and not feel like I have to give up on the treadmill, bike or rowing machine after 5 minutes.
I try to eat well. Ofcourse I eat candy, crisps and other types of junkfood, but I try to keep it in check by not eating as much crap during the week and giving myself a bit of freedom during the weekends… And even then I moderate my junk intake.

And yet I feel shitty. As of right now there are multiple reasons for this, most of which are related to mental health and one big physical factor. You see I’ve had a nasty flu at the end of February. High fever, feeling like a wet towel, only wanting to sleep and sleep some more untill my fever died down. After which I was still not feeling well but went into work anyway because I need the money. After that particular flu I kept having a nasty cough. It’s persisted for about two months now, way longer than any cough should persist, and at first I attributed it to being stressed out. Now however I think something more serious is in play as I’m starting to cough up all manners of slime and my entire respiratory system is painful. So I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for next week to check out what is going on in my lungs. Personally I think it’s some form of bronchitis, I atleast check out for all the symptoms of it right now. Let’s hope it’s only that and I will feel better in a few weeks, I really don’t need a serious health problem on top of all the other things that are going on right now.

As far as my mental health goes. I’m actually severely stressed out. I’ve been trying to wrap up my master’s thesis and it’s not going how it should have. And I’m not even really stressed out because of the thesis itself but because of my dad who thinks I’ve already graduated and is now wanting to see my diploma… Which I obviously don’t have. Pack this up with a very stressful time at work where I make tons of extra hours, a lot of funerals/people dieing around me and a general feeling of depression, loneliness and exhaustion and you have the perfect mix for an incoming crash.
I’m working very hard to avoid this. Trying to get my social life back a bit. Trying to lose myself in games, which I find increasinly hard to do. It doesn’t help that I still don’t have a place of my own and am restricting myself to live in a small bedroom where all my stuff is. It’s really not a healthy way to live and it’s starting to seriously get to me. With the housing market being what it is though I don’t see myself moving out anytime soon.. Unless I meet someone and move in with them. And the chances of that happening are even smaller. All of this just messes with your head. You don’t really know what to give your attention to and it all feels so overwhelming that you just end up doing nothing at all. Which is most likely the worst thing you can do.

So right now my life consists of me forcing myself to do things, even though my body is telling me that it wants to lie down and sleep. And if I do give in to that I’ll sleep my whole weekend away. Which is bad. So instead I’m kicking my own butt. Picking up things I’ve neglected (like this blog) and trying to keep some sort of normal rythm going so that I can do what must be done and not feel like an absolute failure all the time. It’s hard.

I hope it gets better.

Wow. It’s been a while since I took the time to sit down and write out anything resembling a proper blog post.
After logging on I had to dust the corners, do the mandatory updates and clear out the shitload of spam in my pending comments list. I really don’t get why there are so many spambots online or what they think to achieve with random comments on small blogs, but well. The reason why I’ve sat down to write today is mostly because 1: I have an official national holiday and thus finally have some extra time off that I can spend however I like and 2: I’ve bingewatched 13 reasons why recently and I felt like I wanted to give my opinion on the show. So let’s start with that shall we?

Shocking content
First off, I stumbled across this show through 9gag. Yeah it sounds silly. I’ve never even considered the show as a thing untill I saw the jokes online and figured I’d have to watch this. I really don’t regret watching it at all. I think it took me about 2,5 days to get through all 13 episodes. I was fascinated from the start and didn’t really want to put my tablet (my primary Netflix machine) down untill I had seen the end. And what an end it was. Spoiler alert incoming, if you have not watched the entirety of the show yet turn away now!
Showing how Hannah Baker exactly killed herself in detail is something that you really need to prepare for. I understand all the fuss around this particular scene caused by psychologists and psychiatrists all around the globe. It’s not a pretty scene to watch, you literally see how she slits open her underarms and lies down to bleed to death, but I feel like for this show they needed to put it in. Just like the rape scenes weren’t pretty to watch, but they were needed.
We are a culture that sees the most gruesome things online these days and I feel that shows like 13 reasons why know this and step in and say “we can now publish more shocking things ourselves”. Although I don’t really agree with this train of thought I do agree that we are all adults and we should be able to see these things for as they are. Gruesome, shocking, anger inducing and saddening.
I’ve read many opinions about the show and how a lot of people feel like Hannah is being put on a pedestal and suicide is being romanticized here. And a part of me has to agree. But a part of me sees past this and to the core of the show itself. I don’t think this show was envisioned to be something to promote suicide. Instead it envisioned showing how our new, changing “always online” society is having an impact on people in their most vulnerable age range. Puberty is already a tough cookie to deal with with all the hormones changing in your body, your brain developing and having to go out there and rely on yourself instead of your parents. Couple this with kids always being online, in touch and not really having an “off switch” anymore and you exaggerate all the changes that are already going on. It shows how much of an impact social relationships have on humans in general, but on teenagers even more so. It shows how out of control things can get over a very short period of time. With fulltime working parents most kids are left to their own devices (in more and more cases literally devices!) and that doesn’t always turn out for the better.
Of course it’s only a show and an US show at that so things are probably more dramaticized than they are normally. But I still think it’s something we as society need to be aware of. Social media has brought us great things, but everything has a darker side. 13 Reasons Why portrays this darker side to the extreme.

Regional Fuckery
Now for something completely different. I remember the first time FFXIV did a partnership with Amazon for promotional goodies. It got people the Maid Attire and the Fat White Chocobo. At first this was only a Japan and US thing. They rolled it out in some European countries aswell but it never came to the Netherlands, causing me to miss out on something I actually would have wanted to have. Square Enix received a lot of backlash on this, especially from their European community. It’s nothing new that our region is left out. There are many goodies from game companies that are only on the markets in the US (I’m looking at you specifically here Blizzard) and we as Europeans either have to import stuff that costs us an arm and a leg or just give up on trying to get stuff at all.
Now what raised my bristles this past week was that I learned of yet another FFXIV x Amazon promotion… That was again US only. So seeing people post about how they got their Nimbus Cloud and showing ingame screenshots of it while again EU is being completely left out just baffles me. How can such a big international gaming company just completely ignore one of their gaming regions? Why is it always EU that feels like the middle child, the one that gets the least attention, that has to make do with what they have while the eldest and youngest both get spoiled beyond belief? It’s really frustrating to feel that once again our region doesn’t count for anything. Now there have been rumours that we as Europeans can buy the mount off the Mog Station instead. Personally I feel that’s not good enough. Give us a nice promotion aswell! Don’t make us spend money on it while others get their code ‘for free’ while purchasing something else. It’s just plain disgusting, angering and insulting to loyal fans of a franchise, who put money into that franchise every month, to just get the middle finger like this just because they happen to live in a different region. It’s bullshit and it’s stuff like this that makes me want to just cancel my sub and stop playing the game.

I had hoped that Square had learned from the last time they pulled this stunt, but apparently my hopes are in vain. Welcome to living in a part of the world that apparently doesn’t exist for gaming companies.

As the title says, I’ve done the Pokémon post game and caught all of the Ultra Beasts. It’s been a bit of a weird experience, seeing as you need to catch multiple of one type.
In the end you get to catch Necrozma, who isn’t an Ultra Beast but technically the Mewtwo of Alola. I saved my Master Ball for him and am now officially done with that part of the game.
Ofcourse the post game entails much more than just catching the Ultra Beasts. I still have two of the Island Guardians to catch. Tapu Koko and Tapu Lele are mine, but Tapu Fini and Tapu Bulu are still on my “to catch” list.
I’m also nowhere near completing the Aloladex being on about 140/301 Pokémon caught. So I still have a lot of travelling and catching to do to really finish up the game. Next to that I know there’s also still a ton of items to get still, most of which involve helping you get certain Pokémon evolutions. And then there is the Battle Tree which I still need to find… Aka, lots of little things to still finish up.

Apologies for the really bad picture but Pokémon Moon doesn’t really do ingame screenshots and I wanted to share my epic achievement.
I have defeated the Pokémon League in Pokémon Moon and effectively “finished” the game. I’ve seen credits rolling and everything, celebrating me becoming the first ever champion of Alola. And I loved every minute of it. Next to being happy that I was finally able to finish another game in my backlog it’s also the first Pokémon game from the 3DS generation that I’ve properly beaten. In both Pokémon X and Alpha Sapphire I’ve made quite some way into the game but never reached the Pokémon League before getting bored or switching over to a different game and forgetting about the game entirely. I do have to admit that this also kind of happened to Moon but last week I finally got the itch to play again and had set the goal for myself to beat it before my birthday so I could completely focus on Zelda.
This didn’t really happen.
Instead I dedicated last night to finishing off the game as I was on the Elite Four’s doorstep. My team at the end existed of Lunala, Decidueye, Arcanine, Magnezone, Marowak and Greninja. I almost lost out to professor Kukui but my team managed to pull through and I won.

Ofcourse beating the League doesn’t mean I’m actually done with the game. I know there’s quite a bit of postgame that I can still push through and, of course, there is this little matter of filling up my Pokédex. So far I’ve managed to catch Tapu Koko and picked up a lot of easy Pokémon that I was still missing like the two Fossil Pokémon and Type:Null. My Pokédex is currently on 105 out of 305 Pokémon caught so that’s not really too bad either. I’m training up all the Pokémon that I’ve caught so far so that I can redistribute them over the boxes of my PC and so that I can slowly work my way towards the big Ultra Beast and Tapu hunt that is the postgame. Plus it’s a nice break to just run around and level up Pokémon instead of having to beat a ton of hard to beat trainers and legendary Pokémon.
The one thing I’m kind of cranky about is that they didn’t give Sun/Moon a national dex, basically making it so that I don’t really feel the need to bring over Pokémon to those games just yet. I have Moon, X and Alpha Sapphire registered to Pokémon bank though and they have a national dex tied into that application so I can see how many Pokémon I actually own in total.

Anyway, I’m super happy that I’ve actually managed to finish this game within <6 months of buying it. It didn’t take me super long (25 hours played) but I’m guessing by the time my Pokédex will be filled I will easily be on double that number. If not more.

So. Seeing as how it was my birthday yesterday I finally got my hands on Breath of the Wild.
I actually wasn’t planning to buy this game at all. I was going to wait untill I got a Switch later in the year and then buy it, but plans change. My dad needed a gift for my birthday and seeing as Nintendo has this habit of not really letting prices drop on their games well… I opted to ask for Breath of the Wild. And I’m extremely glad I did.

So far I’ve been really enjoying the game. I’m now (only) 6 hours in and already made my way to Kakariko village. I have had some distractions along the way. I’ve seen the Game Over screen more than enough already thanks to trying to swim in tar, icewater, getting killed by guardians and accidentally blowing myself up with bombs. Yet I love every minute of it. I love the weapon diversity, I love the bow and arrow gameplay. I like the fights and I already tamed my first horse! Yay for me!
All the little side things like taming horses, cooking, blowing up ore, picking herbs, catching bugs… Hell I even apparently activated a fairy thing. It’s all very well made and it will probably keep me busy for quite  some time. The map of Hyrule is seriously big and I’ve only touched upon a tiny fragment of it so far… I can’t wait to see what’s around the next corner!

I also found out how to take screenshots on my WiiU. It’s a bit of a hassle but the result shows at the top of my post I guess. And yes my game is in Dutch.