I’ve found myself spending more and more time on in Azeroth lately.
Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, however I am starting to see the warning signs. I’m not getting stuff done that I should be doing, I don’t do anything but sit at my PC and game. I don’t workout, I don’t apply to jobs and I’m not writing on my thesis. Hell I haven’t even thought about my blog up untill today. The old addiction is starting to kick in and that’s something I hope to have caught in time, before it can get any worse.

The thing with having too much time to spend is that you often end up spending it on stuff that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Why do today what you can do tomorrow right? With having the amount of free time I have I find myself putting off important stuff. I don’t have any deadlines, there’s no threat of “failing” or “losing a job” if I don’t do X by Y day. It’s frightening really. Having absolutely no obligations except to myself. Because it’s for myself that I want to get a job and get out of the house. It’s for myself that I want to lose weight, I notice more and more how bad it is for me to be overweight… Even if only 8-10kg’s. My body hurts in places that it shouldn’t. I have shortness of breath really fast and I feel very stretched, as the stretchmarks on my legs aren’t proof enough.
It’s for myself that I want to finish my thesis and get my Master’s degree… And maybe that is where the problem lies. I have always done everything for others. To make someone else proud. To please someone else. Now I’m an adult and I don’t have to anymore.
Ofcourse my dad isn’t happy that I haven’t graduated yet, but there’s not much he can do about it. I need to do it myself. But I don’t want to do stuff for myself. A tiny voice inside of my head tells me I’m not worth it. I’m not good or grown up enough to have my own succesful life. That I’m better off staying at home where I might get treated like a 16 year old but atleast I’m not alone. And then I still get to do stuff for others.

For now my biggest issue is not slipping back into my WoW addiction. Because it’s time consuming and preventing me to tackle the real issues in my life. Ideally I want to make a “schedule” for when I allow myself to play. The weekends should be free to do whatever I please, like almost everyone else, but during the week I need to limit my playtime. And I’m not sure how…

I get to call myself a Queen now. Talon Queen to be more precise. I’ve kicked my own butt and grinded the last 2k rep I needed to get this awesome title and the mount that you can buy once you get exalted with Arakkoa Outcasts. It looks really great and I think it’s actually a bit bigger than the other new model talbuks Blizzard has impletemented in Warlords of Draenor.

I can’t remember the last time I was so happy just farming away on a character. I’ve put more effort in my Priest in this expansion alone than I have in any of my characters in the entirety of Mists of Pandaria and I’m not regretting a single second of it. I feel like I have finally found a character that I can call my “main” and I have little issues only logging on her and playing on her. I wish I would have had this feeling sooner in my career, it would have probably prevented a lot of hurt and frustration on my behalf.
I’ve always been a character hopper although in my early days I only had two max level characters, my Warrior and my Priest and I was happy to switch only between them. Over the past seven years though I don’t think I have ever stuck to a single character for more than a year and it shows. Oh how it shows.

I thought I had found my perfect balance, I would raid on my Priest two times a week and make sure she got her stuff tailored to her. Next to that I levelled and geared my Monk on Horde side, did I mention I was actually planning to roll Monk at the start of MoP? I guess I didn’t, and I would raid on that on Fridays and Sundays.
Life however has a way of fucking you over. Or well not exactly life, games and communities do. Just as I helped set up a new website for my Horde guild so we could start using EPGP as loot our Main Tank, who also happens to be one of our Raid Leaders, let us know that he was accepted as trial into a guild who were having Mythic progress and thus would leave our little guild behind. It was hard news. I still don’t really know what to say, I’m really new to the guild and already have been put in a high ranking position due to me managing the website. A position I didn’t really ask for but have no way of giving up now.
After the tank’s departure the GM of my Horde guild had the brilliant idea to suggest that people would reroll to Alliance side and raid with Aeternus. You see, Aeternus once had plans to try to go for Mythic progress themselves. Unfortunately, due to a combination of average players and casual mindset, this plan was soon turned into “let’s clear Heroic atleast and then we’ll see”.
On it’s own the reroll plan would have been a great idea. However, the two people that were interested in rerolling were a couple that only “wanted to raid together or not at all”. These kind of package deals are a huge red flag to any guild, but especially smaller ones should avoid them. There WILL BE drama if you get people like this in your guild so it’s best to avoid them.
Apart from that, the girl of the couple also plays Shadowpriest and seeing as how Aeternus already has 3 priests (2 heal, 1 dps), 2 mages and a warlock it would be a bit foolish to accept another cloth dps while we are much better off with say a Shaman or a Boomkin. I tried to gently explain this to them, that sorry but for raid diversity and loot distribution another Priest would be a bad idea, but all I got was a bitch response. So to hell with that then.

Which leaves me with my now awesomely geared Monk, see above, that is in a guild on the brink of death. Something I have seen happen over and over in my WoW career and something I was hoping to avoid this time, but alas. Logging her leaves a somewhat sour taste in my mouth now since I feel like I belong there even less. I still love playing the class, but I’m not sure if staying in that guild is a good idea for me. For now I’ll stick around, mostly because I’m not a person who flees at the first signs of trouble, but also because I feel like I owe these people atleast for helping me gear up.

Real life hasn’t been treating me much better than the Horde guild. I feel like I’ve taking a lot of steps back after taking atleast as many steps forward. The last week especially has been tiresome. I’m tired a lot and I sleep a lot. I feel like I’m wasting time I should be spending on other stuff but I can’t really help myself at the moment. I’m just too tired.
I still miss one of my best friends. Even though we are somewhat on speaking terms again things aren’t what they used to be. I feel like I have to fight alone a lot and it’s draining me. I try to see friends and go to the gym and keep my social life going but it’s hard. Most of the days I wish I could just crawl into a corner and become invisible for a while, just so I could get some peace of mind.
It doesn’t help that I’ve had a really bad cold over the past few days either, being miserable AND sick is a hellish combination and it’s something I hope I won’t have to deal with for a long time.
Right now I feel like World of Warcraft is the only thing keeping me from lying in bed all day. I guess it’s something atleast. I feel like I can see in my Priest the person I would want to be. Strong, healthy, powerful, pretty. Someone with a Light and a Dark side, in her case quite literally, but who can keep the balance between that and use both sides for my own benefit.

I wish I could take a real selfie, one of the real me, and be as happy with the turnout as I am when taking a selfie of my character. I guess I still have a long way to go…

Even the box looks cool.

Yes. Believe it or not I have never touched a Zelda game in my life. I never had any Nintendo console growing up and on the Gameboy the game didn’t really appeal to me. I was more of a Pokémon kind of girl. And Donkey Kong… Lots of Donkey Kong.
Anyway, since I didn’t have to pay for my new shoes I figured I’d run off to the toy store and get my game. And so I did.
First off I have to give huge props to the developers. Because I haven’t played the original game on the Nintendo 64 I can’t really make a comparison that way but to me the game on the 3DS looks absolutely stunning. I think this is the first game that really looks 100% 3D and I love it. It’s the first game in which I have 3D on constantly because the graphics are just so good. Not only are the cutscenes in 3D, the gameplay is in 3D aswell and it adds a whole new dimension to the game.
Unfortunately yesterday I was so tired I couldn’t really play much so I did some of the introduction and then headed to bed.

As far as the introduction went, I have to say it’s a little bit confusing when you haven’t played any other part in the series. Apparently Majora’s Mask is more or less a sequel to Ocarina of Time and so you don’t really get much introduction into Link’s character or why he has a certain thing stolen from him. However you immediatly get a glimps of how evil the main villain is after he transforms you into a wooden little boy for no apparent reason. Again this is a little bit confusing. Am I supposed to know this guy from a previous game? For now I just went along with it but I do miss some of the story that Final Fantasy for instance is very good at.
The controls of the game seem manageable so far. It’s not very complicated to master. However the game has been developed with the new 3DS in mind so there is one button I lack which would probably make camera angles much easier to handle.

The game itself evolves around trying to save a world from doom in 3 days time. In the game world those 3 days fly by superfast. I’m only on my first cycle so far but I already know I’m probably doomed to fail since I spent a lot of time running around and exploring instead of doing the tasks that were given to me. Luckily it doesn’t really matter if you fail, you just have to start over again. I’m sure I’ll have to start over the cycle many times in this game, but I don’t think I’ll mind it too much.

What (pleasantly) surprised me the most is that this particular Zelda game is much harder than I expected. I’m used to the Final Fantasy turn based style of games and this is more of an action RPG so it requires a completely different mindset to play. Even then I still found it challenging at some point. Aiming Link at certain destinations requires some skill and paying attention or he might end up somewhere that gets him killed. You also really need to figure out a lot of cryptic stuff. And if you don’t do that fast enough you won’t make the three day cycle.