Month: May 2017

Feeling “safe”

I think I’ve mentioned numerous time on this blog that I’m an avid League of Legends fan. I really enjoy following the scene, my preferred team is H2K from Europe and I make sure I watch every match they play during the regular seasons and I thoroughly enjoy watching the big tournaments, always rooting for the EU teams to get far.
I also enjoy all the faces of League, with the two Belgians being my favourite caster and interviewer/caster/doitall. These are people who worked hard to get to where they are, basically gave up their normal life at home to live in a different country and chase their dreams and make a career out of something that was deemed a very odd choice only a few years ago.

Yesterday the League of Legends scene was shook by a revelation by one of the casters that some very personal photos of his were leaked onto the internet. Now let me get one thing straight. People are allowed to make mistakes. At some point on my life I had a longer distance relationship with a guy that I sexted with and also sent one or two naughty pictures. This was a while ago and it’s something I’ve never done anymore after. This was a guy I had known for a longer time (over a year atleast), who I met in person a few times and who I trusted to not spread said pictures when our relationship eventually failed. Luckily for me he never did so my reputation never got tarnished in that way.
However, some people are malicious and will gain your trust with malicious goals in mind. I am 100% sure that this is the case right now seeing as a lot of the controversy happened over snapchat which deletes everything unless you screenshot it, and when you do the person on the other side gets notified. Some malicious person went a step further and used two phones. One to snap on, one to record said snaps. Again, this is malicious, thought out and specifically done to hurt someone. The only victim here is the caster who, next to his trust being tarnished and his persona being defiled, may actually lose his career over this. Good job random malicious girl, you ruined his life. This has been a case of catfishing in extreme form and with only one goal in mind: destruction.

A lot of people are joining the “well he shouldn’t have sent these pictures then” bandwagon. In hindsight that’s easy to say. When it doesn’t involve you that’s easy to say. It’s always easy to say when it concerns someone else. In hindsight I regretted sending some semi-nudes aswell. It’s then that I decided to not do it anymore in the future and I stuck to it, even though I have had boyfriends asking me. It’s something that I know is not safe, because you never know what happens to the pictures in the hands of someone else. It also only confirms to me that in general the internet isn’t 100% safe. It’s why I feel free enough to share with my readers that I have health issues, psychological issues and social issues… But I will never disclose exactly where I live, where I work, where I went to school etc. Because honestly, disclosing too much about yourself in an online world isn’t safe. There may always be a malicious person that can use that information to do… whatever with.

I don’t want to be all negative about the internet and it’s users. The majority are perfectly innocent. They enjoy our new age where we are a lot more online than ever and don’t use it to pursue malicious goals. It has also given people who have trouble with social interactions a “safe place” to get social anyway, without all of the awkwardness. I just want to shine a light on the uglier side of the worldwideweb and maybe give a warning aswell. Everyone is free to do what they want. If you want to send nudes to your boyfriend or girlfriend, by all means do it. If you want to talk about your work, your home, your loved ones please don’t feel like you can’t. But be aware that things online these days are forever and what consequences your personal actions might have. Even if they appear innocent.


Warrior dinged 50 and with that I earned a whole slew of Achievements. Go me!

So that is one goal I can scratch off my list. I’m currently working on Dark Knight who just dinged 40 today, so there it’s only 10 levels left aswell!
I’ve also found a friendly FC and a static group for Stormblood. I will be maining Ninja and I hope to be able to tackle the content again like I did in A Realm Reborn. Other than that I’m working on getting my Astrologian weapon from Palace of the Dead upgraded and also still working on my Ninja Anima weapon. I’m halfway through the Umbrites stage now, with about 4-6 Umbrites a day earned that’s not too shabby at all!


Health Issues part 3

My third health issues post in a very short amount of days. Damn we just keep on going don’t we?
Today I spent about 4 hours in the hospital after my doctor saw some weird values in my blood. Long story short: my mum’s side has issues with blood cloths. Two of my uncles have been treated for ones in their legs, my mum died of one when she was 45 and I have atleast one aunt who has had multiple strokes. So yeah, blood is an issue in my family. Apparently they can tell by a certain value in your blood that you may or may not have these same issues. The value in my blood indicated something was up, but not really what. So the thing to do was pack my things and move to the hospital where I would get a CT scan to see if anything serious was up.
I can tell you, being in a hospital with nothing to do but wait is seriously annoying. Atleast I got lunch there otherwise I would’ve been extremely hungry aswell. After all was said and done it appears that my lungs are clean and I don’t have anything major life threatening health issues… But I still feel off.

I’m still out of breath easy. I still start coughing whenever my asthma medication wears out. I personally think I’m having a rather intense allergic reaction to something which is causing me to feel this way, but only time will tell. For now I’m still at home sick, giving me ample time to game and do other things that I’ve been neglecting.

Speaking of games…

I’ve been getting back into Destiny next to FFXIV. ┬áIt took me forever to get on top of that stupid mountain, but I made it and got the SIVA fragment as reward, plus this nice screenshot. I worked my way up to 390 light on my Warlock so this in theory makes me ready to raid. Now I just need to find a group to do said raid with.
I know this week is Iron Banner and I think I want to dip my toes in that aswell, just to get the ranks and see how the gamemode is. I’ve missed out on a lot of things in this game so I’m working very hard to try to do and see everything it has to offer before Destiny 2 launches. This mostly includes finding all the collectables, doing Crucible, doing strikes and weekly missions and try to clear as many quests from my log as I can on the Warlock atleast.
I’m also leveling my Titan and Hunter up so I can clear their respective sections in the Age of Triumph book. And earn some of the trophies I’ve been missing still. But most of all I’ve been having fun with friends, and that is what really matters at the end of the day.

Bonus screenie of my warlock in a silly snowglobe hat:


With Stormblood not that far off, 6 weeks, I’ve found myself slowly getting back into Final Fantasy XIV. During Heavensward I’ve not really played as much as I did during ARR. I started out great, got my Dragoon up to 60 really fast, geared her and then my interest waned. I didn’t raid anymore, hell I didn’t do any endgame content at all and leveling other classes wasn’t one of my interests straight away. So Heavensward for me has been a cycle type expansion where I play for a few weeks, level something up, clear out my quest log, do the new dungeons/encounters, work a bit on my Relic and then I disappear for a few weeks again.

I’ve tried out all the new jobs with Astrologian quickly becoming my favourite healer. I’ve always regretted not spending more time on this game to get atleast all my battle classes to max level. I’m a lorebeast in any MMO I play and the class/job quests are some of the most interesting things Square Enix has put into the game. So right now I’m trying to make up for that by getting atleast all my battle classes to 50 before Stormblood launches and make some sort of sprint to 60 for a few more. Right now the only two classes I have below level 50 are Warrior and Dark Knight, which is cool in a way because they’re Tanks which means I have no issues chaining dungeons to level if I want to. Instant queues for the win. My Warrior is now level 43 and Dark Knight is 36 so getting them both to 50 before Stormblood shouldn’t be an issue at all. Just doing the challenge log + level/guildhest roulettes and finishing up the hunting log nets you a lot of experience and it isn’t as mind numbing as spamming Palace of the Dead over and over again. If I play it right I might even be done with this particular goal in less than two weeks, freeing up the last few weeks to tick off a few other things…

Most importantly my Anima weapon. I’m still stuck on the Umbrites step and I really want to finish atleast one Anima weapon before Stormblood hits. I was in the same frenzy with Heavensward release but again, in theory it should be doable. I have enough time on my hands now that I’ve slowly pulled myself away from World of Warcraft. I still log there every now and then to do a few World Quests and work through the Broken Isles weekly quests, but that’s mostly it. Since the raiding has stopped the game itself has completely lost my interest and the only reason I’m still playing at all is because my game time is paid up untill June 13th. I’m fully planning to cancel that sub so I can focus on Stormblood. But yeah, back to the Anima weapon. I have a decent amount of Sands sitting around to be used and it’s really the Umbrite farm that is holding me back. Which is really silly because 150 Lore is nothing and if I just do my roulettes I should be up to speed in no time.
It’s just a bit of a chore dividing my attention between the Relic farm on the one hand and levelling my remaining classes on the other hand. Add to that fact that I’m still unsure what I want to main in Stormblood and my FFXIV time is a little chaotic right now. I was intent on continuing with my Ninja but seeing as Square is adding 2 more DPS classes I predict DPS queues to be hell on earth the first few weeks of the expansion. So I’m thinking that I want to focus on maining a Healer or Tank at first instead and then level up a DPS class as secondary. Seeing as how I really enjoy playing Astrologian, and I’m actually quite decent at it on my PS4 which is the game version I’m getting, I think I might focus on that class. I really have to see what they do with the “new” gameplay though because that’s more of a dealbreaker than anything else.

For now though my last few weeks of Heavensward will look a little like this:

  • Level Warrior and Dark Knight to 50
  • Finish up Anima weapon for Ninja
  • Level Machinist to 60 (I’m only 3 levels off…)
  • Level a tank to 60 (most likely Warrior)
  • Decide what to main for Stormblood!

Let’s see how far I’ll actually get!

Health Issues part 2

Last week I wrote a little thing about having some health issues. Some physical and what I believed to be mostly mental. This week I went to see my doctor and got some clarity on what exactly is happening to me.

I went in with the mindset that I would complain about a cough that wouldn’t go a way and having some difficulty breathing. However when I got to the practice I was more than a little out of breath. This continued after I sat down in the office to which my doctor became very concerned and basically told me off for waiting so long to come to him in the first place. He listened to my lungs (which were clean), took my blood pressure (which was good) and then got scared shitless after seeing my heartrate. It was up to 130 which, by all accounts, is way too high. My oxygen level in my blood was good, but it was costing my body a lot of effort and energy to maintain said levels, thus leading to me feeling exhausted and having trouble breathing.
He made me take some asthma medicine to help my lungs open up a bit in the hope that it would also temper my heart rate. Which initially it did. I dropped down to 110, which is still to high, but not as high as it was. However a few minutes later, after I had to physically exert myself, my heart rate shot up again causing him to plan an emergency ECG just to see if my heart wasn’t the one responsible for me feeling bad. Luckily for me the ECG looked fine and I got sent home with an inhalator and asthma medication and some prednisone for three days to battle whatever was going on in my body.

Today I’m on day two of medication. I can’t say I feel significantly better in the breathing and heartracing department, especially in the afternoon. My body is just completely exhausted and I think I will feel like this for a little while longer. The prednisone seems to do it’s job though. My coughing has been brought down to a bare minimum, my nose cleared up and my eyes aren’t that watery anymore, which is good.
The inhalation thing is draining. I have to do 6×2 inhalations per day. It’s quite a heavy dose and I’m noticing one of the side effects really badly, which is having serious tremors of my hands right after I take the medication. It subsides within 10-15 mins but still, it’s kind of scary. I’m kind of housebound, I can’t really get out and do stuff. Actually my doctor advised me to not do anything for the weekend, which is really stupid but I get it.

So yeah. I’m going back to the doctor on monday to see how my situation has improved and if I’m okay to work again. Even if it’s only for half days. Because sitting at home all day is driving me slightly nuts.