Personal

I Need Energy Pills

Sunday evening, 21.00. We finally come home from yet another birthday. March is a really busy month and I haven’t had a weekend to myself at all. I notice I’m tired once again, a state I’ve been in for a very long time now and it’s starting to annoy me. All I want to do is sit on my ass and stare at my PC or tablet screen, not really doing anything useful.
I come home like this every day after work. It’s a crazy job with lots to do and at the end of the day I’m completely exhausted and happy to go home. But then the actual real struggle starts: staying awake and making use of my evening. I’ve been considering going to the gym after work, mostly because people say you get energy back from working out. However due to the fact that I still live at home, by the time I get to the gym it’s 20.00 because dinner comes first. At 20.00 I really can’t be arsed to haul my ass to the gym for an hour, come home, shower and then essentially head straight to bed. I want to spend my evening in a more fun way, so that’s out of the question.

I’m trying really hard to not lie down on bed after I get home or after I have eaten. I know that if/when I do, I’ll immediatly fall asleep and won’t wake up for the next 40-60 minutes, and after I do I only feel more tired than I was before.
So yeah, right now I could really use some energy pills to keep me going during the evenings and my day off. I have set many goals for myself this year, both on and offline, and I’m not really getting to any of them due to feeling tired all the time.
I’ve tried adjusting my food habits, and it has helped a bit. For now I just want to get into a rythm for my evenings so that I can relax after work, but still get stuff done without feeling like I just want to head to bed the moment I get home.

I think I also really need to enforce not taking my tablet or phone to bed with me anymore. It keeps me up for too long, the light makes my brain think it’s not sleeping time yet and I notice my sleep quality is much better if I just lie down and attempt to fall asleep, instead of scrolling through whatever website or app for an hour before my eyes finally fall shut. Because when I get a good night’s sleep, I wake up after 8-8.5 hours on my own, feeling rested and ready to take on the day. Instead of waking up and feeling like I just want to go back to sleep again immediatly.

Going with the Flow

Ever since I started work in November my life has been messed up quite a lot. Going from having all the time in the world, to suddenly having to plan what I do with my time has been rough on me. And the moment I finally get used to my normal work schedule, I get asked to work extra. Which not only totally messes up my normal routine, but also makes me very very tired, leaving me to just go to bed after dinner and a shower rather than staying up and game.
The past two or three weeks have been absolutely insane for me, working a lot of hours and having my weekends booked with all types of activities, including a company party. But after sleeping for about 9 hours last night I finally feel refreshed enough to sit down and write something on here again.

So what have I been up to then?
I have been gaming over the last few weeks. Mostly focusing my time on FFXIV and The Division. I never thought I would pick up the Division, shooters aren’t really my genre, but I’m very happy that I did. I absolutely love the tactical gameplay. I love that taking cover is a huge thing in firefights. And I love the exploration and RPG part of the game.
My entire experience with the Division has been positive so far, with only one tiny thing that I was unhappy with: female character customization. To be blunt, if I want a Caucasian female look I end up with a character with a seriously weird face that can’t even have longer hair than a tiny ponytail. I like the fact that I can play as a woman though, I just wish they were designed better.

In FFXIV I’ve mostly been trying to get Lore cap and work on my relic. I’m a bit burnt out on levelling, so it’s nice to focus on something else for a bit. It’s also very relaxing to know you only really have to do ex-roulette as you log on and then can do random silly things instead of hardcore levelling or raiding.

Other interests
I’ve finally finished off season 3 of Hannibal and am now officially done with the show. It’s been a long ride and I have loved every minute of it. You can see the makers clearly intended for another season, as there is an extra scene after the end credits of the last episode that makes the ending very open. Alas NBC ended the contract and I fear we will never see a season 4 of Hannibal.
I have also resubbed to Netflix and am now devouring Daredevil. Currently on episode 9 of season 1, I should be finished on time for season 2. I really love the dark grittiness of the show, and my word the guy who plays Daredevil is hot. I will definately watch season 2 as soon as it’s out and after that I will probably turn my attention to Jessica Jones.

Something else I’ve gotten really into lately is make-up and beauty products. Working in an environment full of women some things rub off on you eventually and I notice I really like fiddling around with how I look. So over the past week I’ve really been investing into quality make-up products (brands like OPI, Clinique and MAC) that will last me a while, instead of the €3 lipsticks I’ve been buying up untill now. I’m still a rookie when it comes to a lot of things, I can’t contour my face for the life of me, but I enjoy picking out lipsticks and nailpolish for the day and week and just take a few minutes to make myself look pretty.
It really cuts into my budget though. A “prestige” brand will charge easily over €20 for a single lipstick, but seeing as it will last you a very long time and it just looks good AND doesn’t dry out my lips like cheaper brands do I feel like it’s a solid investment. Not to mention it makes me look much more professional at work.

So what is next?
For the time being I’m just going with the flow of things. When I’m tired I turn away from games and towards Netflix. I’ll try to blog a bit more regularly and will probably blog a bit more about my other interests besides gaming aswell… Although that will always be my main subject.
Seeing as March is a seriously busy month for me I really need to get my sleep schedule in order aswell, because coming home extremely tired every night is seriously sucky and not something I plan on doing for the weeks to come.

Sunday Scale: February

No picture today, because there is no real “progress” to show.
Which is weird, because I feel like I’m losing weight, and my colleagues are commenting on me losing weight… But my scale still shows 70 kg. So either my scale is broken? Or I’m not losing weight at all.

I have been keeping my calories in check and have had a few days where I went over my budget. But nothing serious enough to nullify all the days I have been able to stick to my diet, so I’m not really sure why I’m not seeing any improvement. I was losing 1kg per month so far and it seemed to have stalled a bit. I guess one of the reasons is that I still haven’t been able to motivate myself to go to the gym regularly.  I had an excuse for one week since I had to sit with my foot up, but for the rest of the time I don’t really have an excuse other than “I’m dumb and lazy”.
Which causes me to kind of get into this spiral of feeling tired because I don’t do anything but if I don’t do anyting I feel tired. It’s hard to break out of and I’m really trying my best, but I feel like I’m stalling and I’m not sure how to get out of it.

Exhausting Days

The past week has been slightly crazy for me. I’ve had a lot of IRL obligations, that were all fun, and worked for four days non stop. Right now I’m looking back and wondering how the hell I managed to get through all of it. Even now I still feel tired, even though I have had today off. I haven’t done much besides lying on bed, drifting to sleep every  now and then and just feel tired and slightly miserable in general.

All in all I did have an awesome week though. Monday was mostly a blur since I slept badly due to still having some pain in my toe. I could walk, but not that fast, and I was happy to be home and go to bed super early. I don’t think I’ve been to bed at 21.00 in a very long time, but boy it did wonders for my mood on Tuesday.
Which was very necessary since on Tuesday I attended an Ellie Goulding concert, one I had been looking forward to for a few months. I went with one of my best friends, who had never been to a concert before, and we had a ton of fun. I walked a lot that day and that was very noticeable on Wednesday as I got up to get to work. Due to getting home late after the concert and my foot/toe acting up again I really had a shitty day at work. And again I went to bed very early, at 22.00 this time.

Party Hardy
Yesterday evening was almost the culmination of my week though. One of my coworkers is getting married and since she is of Turkish origin she is celebrating it Turkish style. This means that there is a “henna” evening which is women only. It’s almost like a bachelorette party, but much more official with some traditions and lots of dancing. This night was yesterday and I attended with all of my other coworkers… And it was an absolute blast. We danced, we ate good food, we saw our colleague looking beautiful in her dress and took a few really cool pictures in the process.
Tomorrow (saturday) will be the actual wedding party and I’ve been warned already that I need to prepare… Because she is expecting about a thousand guests. This is a scale that is seriously unheard of in most Dutch weddings, so I hope I can cope with all the people there. Luckily we have a table reserved for us, so atleast we will be sure we can sit down during the night. I’m really curious and very excited to be part of this all, it’s probably something you only live once in a lifetime if you’re not from that culture.

Games?
I haven’t really felt motivated to do any games at all the past week. After I’ve come home from work I either went straight to bed or was out of the house for the rest of the evening. Even on my day off today I barely touched any game, except for some games of Hearthstone to secure my January card back. And honestly I have no idea or motivation what game to play at all right now. Due to me not really logging onto Diablo for a while I’ve fallen behind on all my friends. In FFXIV I don’t really have a goal except level my Bard and Botanist and work on my Anima relic. In WoW I logged in briefly today to do some Garrison stuff and I’m half planning to do the Timewalking event over the weekend… But that’s mostly it. I’m staring at my games on Steam and the ones lying infront of my on my PS4 and just really don’t feel like playing anything at all right now. This will probably change tomorrow or Sunday when I don’t feel like I’ve walked a marathon anymore. But for now I think I’m just gonna watch some League of Legends and relax.