Gym

Loading Update…

I suddenly realized that it’s been 9 days since my last blog post. This has mostly been due to me focusing on other things, mostly games, and also because I didn’t really know what I wanted to write about. Well I do now!

First off, my two weeks of freedom. Unfortunately I’ve not been able to get myself motivated enough to join the gym again. I’m just way too insecure right now and I’m scared that if I go people will laugh at me. Instead I’m opting to cancel my gym membership for the time being and start/continue working out at home. We have a crosstrainer in the attic, I have weights to use for my arms and there’s a mat which I can use to do my exercises in general on. With the weather turning sour aswell this means I won’t have to brave the wind and rain to get to a gym but instead move up a staircase and do my routine there. I’ve printed out some stuff I can do by myself at home and I’m hoping some results will be showing in the coming weeks.
The other thing I wanted to do was eat more healthy and that has been a major success. I don’t have any junkfood in the house anymore and have been eating way more healthy things. I’ve started taking my own lunch to work again and now I’m just scouring a proper container so I can bring some yoghurt with me aswell. Dinner has been veggie filled almost every evening, even the nacho dish I made last night, and I honestly have started feeling much better physically now that I’ve banned all the high fat and sugar foods out of my life.

Unfortunately most of my free time has still been dedicated to playing games although I did make a tiny bit of progress reading my book. I’ve also been cleaning out my room vigorously getting rid of everything I no longer need and just making sure it’s very clean so that my allergies don’t bother me as much as they normally do. I still plan to take up my cross stitching again, maybe this week when I don’t feel like logging into my games.

On the gaming front I’ve actually been making good time on my September Gaming Goals. I’ve ticked off all the World of Warcraft ones except getting my reputations to Exalted and maxing out my Professions. In FFXIV I’ve finished leveling my Machinist and started to level my Black Mage while also doing dailies to get my Weaver up.
The solo game is still a thing I need to work on but I have maybe figured out a way to start tackling my massive backlog. What I’ve been doing is making a top three game list for all my consoles that I really want to finish and then pick one of those three to start working on. Once I’ve gone through the top three I can pick a new top three and just keep on going through my backlog like that.
My top threes currently look like this.
PS4
1. Crash Bandicoot “NSane” Trilogy
2. Horizon Zero Dawn
3. Final Fantasy XV

Switch
1. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (excluding the Torna DLC).
2. Kirby: Star Allies
3. Octopath Traveler, alteast one chapter 4.

3DS
1. Professor Layton and the Mask of Wonders
2. Dragon Quest VIII
3. Epic Mickey

PC
1. Mickey’s Castle of Illusion
2. Tomb Raider
3. Rayman Origins

As you can see I’ve been trying to mix up RPGs with other genres. Doing RPGs back to back will definitely exhaust me as gamer so I’m trying to break them up as much as possible. As it stands now I’m playing the Professor Layton game on my 3DS during my commute to and from work. This gives me about 30 mins of play time per day, which is actually surprisingly enough time to make some serious strides in a game like this. At home I’m switching back and forth between Xenoblade and Crash Bandicoot, kind of depending what I feel like playing. Even though I’ve only obtained Crash recently it’s one of my top games to finish purely because of the nostalgia hit it provides. As far as the PC games go. I should be able to finish Mickey’s Castle of Illusion pretty fast. It’s a short game so an afternoon and an evening of playing may actually have me finishing this game. Tomb Raider isn’t that long either compared to some of the other RPGs I have on my list, especially Dragon Quest and Xenoblade.

All in all it comes down to me managing my game time better. I block hours to do certain things at work, I may need to start blocking hours for games aswell to get done what I want done. I’ll see. September is slowly crawling to an end and I have about 7 days to work on some of my goals still. See you next post!

Two weeks of freedom?

As I sit down to write this blogpost I’ve had a really long tiresome day. Having barely slept last night I could only think of my bed when I was at work but now that I’m home, and it’s actually time to sleep, my head is a bit too filled with random thoughts to really settle down and snooze. So instead I’m just going to write down what’s going on inside this messy brain of mine today and see if that will help me clear it.

We have a midyear evaluation at work and I had mine today. I tend to get the same comments every evaluation: you’re not professional enough and you lack some communication skills. So far I’ve taken the criticisms as they come but there has never really been a follow up to them. I tend to get told that I’m a bit blunt which may come across as me being bitchy at times but I don’t really see it that way myself. It may come with the fact that the moment I step foot into the office people start asking me questions within two minutes of me sitting down. I get a bit annoyed by that sometimes because I really would like the first ten to fifteen minutes of my work day for myself to make a planning, look at what kind of mails I have and just settle down before the questions are fired. I’m already not a morning person by any means so stuff like this just tends to get me irritable, which I then show in my answers to people. It’s not something that is completely concious but it happens nonetheless.
My manager has offered me to work with me on my professionalism and my communication skills and I’ll gladly take any chance to grow as a person at work. I’m just seriously curious what exactly I should do to make strides and grow, but I guess I’ll see in a few weeks when we have our first “session”.

In other news my dad and his girlfriend departed for Spain this afternoon to enjoy a two week holiday over there, leaving me alone in the house untill the 28th. I have to say that I’m kind of happy to have this time to myself because I was getting irritated a lot by them lately and I just really needed some space. I do hope that I can use the coming two weeks to start getting into the habit of going to the gym again. My weight has been bothering me for a very long time now and now that I’m able, for two weeks atleast, to spend my time the way I want to I kind of want to use to start setting up a gym routine again. Working out is healthy and even though the first few weeks tend to be tough I also know that it gives me energy and stamina, which translates into a better mood overall for myself. I may use the topic of gyms and workouts for my blogposts the coming weeks but that is yet to be seen.
For now though I want to reserve some time on the weekends, probably in the morning, and weekdays after work to go to the gym for 30 mins – one hour. I realise that I have to start from scratch again but that’s okay. I’m not setting the bar extremely high for myself. I just want to make sure that I’m going again and build a steady rythm of getting myself to go before actually pushing hard for weight loss goals.

Tied into the whole gym thing I also want to cook healthy for myself these two weeks. I have one pizza in the freezer for emergencies but as far as I’m concerned I want to cook myself healthy meals every day if I can. This probably means a lot of rice and veggies since that is what I enjoy. I’m also stocking up on stuff like yoghurt and fruit so I can take that as a snack during the evening/weekends instead of candy or crisps and I want to make sure I’m taking fruit with me to work every day. I have a new backpack incoming and an insulated lunch bag which means I could cut myself some fruit in the evening and put it in a plastic container in the fridge so that it can go into the insulated bag in the morning, keeping it more cool and fresh than it would be otherwise. I could also try to do something with the yoghurt that way but for now I’m a bit hesitant because it’s dairy and already kind of sour so I don’t really want to take it with me where it’s not properly cooled, because I probably can’t taste if it’s gone “sour” that way.

As far as games are concerned I  want to cut back on time on those and spend that time on my gym stuff and some other hobbies instead. I am probably going to tackle Trine 2 with a friend and I will still be playing WoW probably on a daily basis but that will probably be it. During the weekends I will have a bit more time to do some more and branch out to other games like FFXIV or a single player game of my choosing but for the week nights it’ll be WoW exclusive.
I want to get back to reading my book and tackling an embroidery kit that I’ve started a few years ago but never finished. I also really want to build one of the Toy-Cons from the Nintendo Labo kit I scored for cheap a while back, probably the motorcycle one since I can use that with Mario Kart for fun and giggles. I will make pictures during my building process to post for my blog so definitely stay tuned for that!

At the end of the day though my plans for the coming two weeks are hopefully a foundation for a change that is more lasting. I want to step away from constantly gaming and work on my health. I also want to pick up some of my old hobbies and make myself less reliant on my PC/PS4/Switch for enjoyment or relaxation. The biggest thing is that I want to start having a more structured life where I am more calm and capable of getting things done. As for right now I feel like I’ve gotten off my chest what has been going on in my head, which means I can close down the house and get ready for a good night’s sleep.

Flipping The Switch

As I went to the gym last Thursday I felt like I needed to change up my life. I visit the gym every so often, really not enough to produce a nice result and most of my weight loss from the past few months has actually come from changing my eating habits. Getting more health problems and just not being happy with myself in general I decided to get in touch with a Personal Trainer via the gym I workout at. Lo and behold he returned my email yesterday and we have made an appointment for next Thursday. I really hope he can get me on track with my weight loss goal, because I’m just really sick and tired about how I feel and look for a very long time now.
Being only 1.60m tall and weighing 72 kg is a lot. For a healthy BMI my maximum weight should be 60 kg and ideally I need to be around 55. So as you can see I’m already 12kg above what I should weigh as maximum and 17 kg above my ideal weight. So I set my goal to lose 15kg over the summer, boiling down to about 5kg a month. Seeing as I’ve been able to lose 7kg in one month the moment I started my job working for the mail I’m positive I can reach 5kg a month with daily workouts, provided I do them right. It’s a really big step for me to take. I have the motivation this time around and with someone helping me out I’m sure I can do it. I’ll keep you guys updated!

Breakdown
In other news, work has been awful. With our team coordinator gone I’ve had to step up a lot seeing as I’m the person with the most knowledge besides her in the team. Monday was a real bitch with lots of issues that needed to be solved, so I was happy when I was mostly off the hook on Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday however, we were already with less people than normal. An hour into our regular workday one of my coworkers started experiencing extreme chestpains. We rushed her to the resident company doctor who contacted her own GP. Although her symptoms weren’t bad enough for her to be taken to the hospital, we did have to take her home with a prescription for heavy painkillers. So off she went and suddenly I was alone and the entire planning of the day got turned upside down. I’m pretty sure we didn’t do a lot of things we should have done, but with a medical emergency I can’t really blame myself or anyone else that our day was more or less in shambles. This did result into me just collapsing into bed after dinner (I hadn’t been sleeping well at all the night before due to my room being 25 degrees) and waking up at 00.30 feeling very confused as to where I was.
It’s not really healthy to be this tired and needing this much sleep, but yesterday kind of broke me. Although I love my job and I hope to stay there for a long time and slowly work my way up in the company, I notice that I just need vacation and relax. Luckily it’s only 3 more weeks untill I have two weeks off, so really looking forward to that.

Tieing in with this work fatigue is that my desire to game has been reduced to nearly zero. I’m just really too tired to pick up anything and having to think. Thus I’ve spent most of my free time watching game streams or just resting, hoping that the permanent tiredness will go away. The fact that I have a three day weekend now might just encourage me enough to put atleast some time into a game, seeing as I have a bit more time to spend.

The Good
Now not to be a negative nancy throughout this blogpost, I do have some good news to share. Well good for me atleast.
Ever since I got my driver’s license about 6.5 years ago I’ve been driving around in my father’s car. I had one small accident where I scraped the nose of the car across the wall, damaging the paint, but other than that I’ve been accident free. Now he and his girlfriend have bought a new car for themselves, to drive in, meaning that I will more or less have our old car for myself. Of course there are restrictions, but knowing I can just take the car whenever I want without having to ask first is really nice. It shaves off a lot of time when it comes to visiting some of my friends (45 mins drive vs 1.5 hours with public transport) and it gives me some freedom to pick people up myself, instead of always waiting to be chauffeured.
So yeah, some more mobility is very welcome and I’ll definately make use of it!

All in all I hope I can use this weekend to get some desperately needed rest and relaxation and find my gaming vibe again. There’s many things I still want to do and it helps if I can get myself to just log in and go.