Going Pro?

This morning I stumbled upon the fact that MMOgames is hiring freelance writers. After my initial enthusiasm and serious consideration of applying there I gave it some second thoughts after I got home from work.
You see, I write this blog because I enjoy it. Because it gives me a way to write stuff about what I do on a daily basis, what I like and what I don’t like, I can give opinions about anything or nothing. I can make it completely my own and there is no external pressure to write. If I want to have a hiatus I can! If I want to blog on a daily basis, I can! It just gives me a lot of freedom and enjoyment to have my own little corner on the internet that I can manage myself without having people looking over my shoulders or expecting anything of me. If you’re on a deadline to write though, it’s different. There’s expectations, pressure to not only produce content, but well articulated, opinionated content that doesn’t look like a non-English speaking person who has just had their first course in English wrote it. And I don’t think I’m up for that yet. Hell I don’t really produce that type of content on here either.
It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s more that I’m just not experienced enough to feel up to the challenge. Even if I’ve been blogging for multiple years now I still feel like I’m only a beginner. That there is so much room for me to grow, to produce higher quality content, to make this blog more my own. I feel like I haven’t even reached half of my potential when it comes to writing. It’s why I happily accepted the “blog every day” challenge for August. Not only will it help me produce more content, but I will actually have to think about what I write more to stay interesting, thus challenging myself, thus hopefully produce more interesting reading material.

Of course I could just throw myself into the fray aswell. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe a deadline is what I need to motivate me to do stuff. Maybe I’ll be an excellent writer. Maybe I’ll even be able to produce more content thatn I could have ever imagined. Maybe. And as long as the maybe’s are this plentiful I think it’s probably not the best idea now to commit to something I have serious doubts about. Even if it would look amazing to have on my resumé, even if it’s something I really wanted to do ever since I got into serious gaming and blogging. It’s just something that I don’t feel confident enough about. I really want to improve my little corner of the internet first. Add a bit more posts that cover more than “look what I did today!”. Have more opinions. Write a few guides. Talk about games that I have completed and what I thought about them in a more lengthy, review style way than I have been doing now. It’s all things that I’m working on and it’s all things that I want to get on my blog on a regular fashion. So untill I’ve done that and feel comfortable with my writing and my opinions and my blogposts, I won’t “go pro”.

(Bad) Habits

So I did a little overhaul with my blog today. And I have to say I’m quite happy with the result. I felt like it needed a change (especially my header image) and I’ve always been fond of dark themes over light themes… So I took the plunge and this is the end result!
I hope you all like it aswell, I will probably tweak a bit more in the coming weeks (I need to find out how to add social media buttons without it looking horrible) but for now I think this is the style I want to roll with.

The Heroes Project
Is still very much alive actually. I’ve been getting some games in on Valla today and having a blast fiddling around with different builds for different maps. I really like the Hungering Arrow into Giant Killer build for the Eternal Conflict map. Poking out enemies as they are trying to kill one of the Immortals is a really nice thing to do on Valla and makes her an invaluable asset to the team. Whereas on other maps like the Dragonshrine and Garden of Terror it’s much better to roll with a Multishot build seeing as there is much more teamfighting and teampushing involved and you want to hit as many target as possible as hard as possible.
Then ofcourse there are other things to consider. For instance the type of champions you get matched up with. Is there a healing support? Are you sure he/she can keep you up during teamfights? Will there be warrior (tank) heroes that can take the damage for you? Will you land in a scenario where you will have to solo lane OR where you have to duel a lot? This all influences the build on Valla, more specifically if taking selfhealing talents like Hungering Arrow and Vampiric Assault are worth getting or not.
All in all I’m learning more about playing this champion and getting even more skilled at her than I already *cough* was. Or atleast I like to assume so.

(Not) Going to the Gym
As I may have mentioned before… I’m immensly struggling with my weight for the past 2 years. I’ve gained and gained and gained and it’s gotten to the point that I don’t fit into half of my clothes anymore. It sucks and it’s really dragging me down mentally… 
But I guess I’m also to blame myself. I have a gym membership, but it rarely sees any use. I just can’t motivate myself to go often. I go maybe once a week or once every two weeks and that’s it. Usually I use excuses like having a headache, feeling like it’s too late on the day to go, being to “busy” doing other things. You name it, I’ve come up with it. While in reality I’m just being lazy and really  need to get my act together and go. I will have to if I ever want to fit back into my pants. I’m really out of ideas to motivate myself though. Rewarding myself didn’t seem to help. Setting goals doesn’t really seem to help. 
I just really need someon to kick my ass to go every day. And that seems to be my biggest problem.